newbie in need of help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
newbie in need of help!!
2
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:58am

Hello ladies,


This is my first message on this board and really, my first venture into seeking someone to lean on other than my DH.  Thank you for this board!!  Just reading through some of the other posting has helped enormously!  I'm 27, married for almost three years and have been ttc for just over three years.  I've had three miscarriages, all before 8 weeks.  I started to see a RE last year in Sept.  who told us that due to my high FSH (19.8 on day 3), we had no chance (less than 1%) of ever having a child.  I was crushed to say the least.  I have packed on twenty additional pounds since then and to add insult to injury, I have two friends and a co-worker who are all wonderfully, glowingly, mistakenly pregnant.  None of their pregnancies were planned and despite the fact that I know I should be happy for them and somewhere in my grinchy little heart, I would like to think that I am; I am so overwhelmingly bitter and sad and hurt and angry, that I can't manage any happiness for any of them.  What is wrong with me?  I'm normally a very caring person, I promise!!  I just don't know what to do from here...should I get a second opinion on my FSH?  Should I order a herbal supplement I found on the net that promises you'll conceive in three months?  Should I jump off a cliff?  Help!  Thanks for letting me vent...I can't even say how much I needed that!  We're also working on becoming foster care/adoptive parents, but I am scared of the behavior problems that can accompany abused children.  I just don't quite know where to turn...any advice would be so welcome. :)


Thanks,


Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 1:26pm

Hi Meg,

Welcome! I've only been on the board since January and the ladies here have been so helpful and understanding. It's nice to have people to talk to who are going thru the same situation. I totally know what you mean about feeling like a horrible person for not being happy for other people who are pregnant. My husband's brother and his wife are going to be having their third baby today and I have no desire to go and see them. He is 29, she is 25 and all three of their pregnancies were unintentional. She doesn't work, when he's not working all he does is play video games and drink beer. I think they are good parents (they could be better), but I just feel like they don't take it seriously and don't realize how lucky they are.

Every time I see a pregnant woman or a baby I feel so jealous and just want to break down and cry. And if I hear about one more pregnant celebrity, I am going to puke! I think our feelings are completely normal. It's understanding to feel this way when we are going thru this. I think you should explore all of your options, get a second opinion, just don't give up!

My DH and I have done 5 IUI's with no success. We are now trying chiropractic and acupuncture for a few months before moving on to IVF. We are going to try everything we possibly can until we are out of options, you should do the same. Try the herbal supplements, at least it will be something natural that can't hurt you. Just don't jump off a cliff (although I would like to do that at times!)! I think it is great that you are working on becoming foster/adoptive parents, but I can understand how you would be scared.

I hope this helped. I'm sorry for rambling on, I didn't sleep well last night so now I'm in la-la land! Good luck with everything!

Sam

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 1:41pm

Sam,


Thanks so much for the reply!