In need of someone to talk to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2008
In need of someone to talk to.
6
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 10:34pm

I am new to this board.  we have been trying for two years, and found out several months ago he has low sperm count.  All my tests were normal.  We are trying a new treatment where he injects himself twice a week.  this whole thing totally sucks.  I feel like I can't tell him what I am feeling, because I dont want to make him feel bad.  I can't tell anyone in my family because once one person knows, everybody knows, and I just really dont care to have everyone in my family talking about this behind my back, AND i dont want my family blaming him.  I am sad all of the time, and especially when i find out that we didn't get pregnant every month.  It is like a bad joke:  you get your hopes all up, and think surely THIS will be the month, and then your period starts, and I get super emotional with all that.  I am going to turn 29 in two weeks, and I feel like I am just getting older and older.  I feel like every part of my life is suffering because of this, and yet I have to go to work every day and turn on the smile and pretend everything is just fine.  Mostly, I just feel alone and sad, with this nagging question of if I can't have kids, what is the whole point?  I always thought that would just happen.


Now, we found out that my sister in law is pregnant with her 4th, and every time they have tried, they get pregnant on the first month try!  There will be 7 little nieces and nephews running around this easter, and one pregnant sister in law.  Last week I tried to tell him that I did not want to go to easter, but he was mad and asked why I did not want to go.  There are no kids on my side of the family.  Tonight I broke down and searched the web for some kind of forum just to talk about this and found this website.  I guess I am just hoping for a listening ear from someone who wont judge.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 10:58pm

Hi bethy,


So sorry to hear how sad you are.

6 rounds of clomid @ 150<a href="http://s235.photobucket.com/albums/ee119/h

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 11:00pm

Hey Bethy, NO one on this board or any of the TTC boards would judge you, we all sympathize with you and most of us are probably in the same situation one way or another.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2008
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 11:22pm

Thanks for writing back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 12:12pm

Hi Bethy,

You could be writing my story, except I am older then you. I was 33 when we found out that my DH (yes, that is husband) had a low sperm count. We were in shock and I was sure that they had the test results of somebody else. To my surprise, they really were my DH's. They found that I had no issue.

He started tacking a drug orally for six months. It helped his count, but it was still pretty bad. We got to try for an IUI in July of '05 and miracle of miracles it worked on the first try. I had little to no hope that it was going to work and it did. So don't give up. You are both young and time is on your side.

We are trying for #2, and this time around is not as easy as the first time. We are now in a waiting pattern as we try to save enough money to go through IVM or IVF. We did the whole IUI thing and this time it did not work (6 tries). His count is still bad and so is his motility, so we are faced with needing to try more invasive and more expensive treatments.

When it comes to talking about it, I also understand how you feel. I feel like I can't talk to my dh because I don't want to make him feel worst then he already does. I us to feel like I was all alone with this issue. Finding this board was a savior for me. There are so many woman hear that are amazing and supportive.

The best advice that I can give you is to give yourself permission to feel the emotions that you need to feel, and realize that they are normal. What we are all going through hear suck to say the least. You are not alone in this process. It is OK to cry, yell and sit at the computer and vent when you need to. What is important is that you do not keep it all inside, because that will eat away at you and make it worst.

If you need to vent and or just talk to somebody who know and understand exactly how you are feeling know I will be there for you.

Don't give up. It will happen for you someday.

Ellen xoxoxoxox

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2008
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 10:13pm

Bethy,


I am new here too and your story sounds all to familiar. I am 29 and my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 1 1/2 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 8:07pm

((((Bethy))))


Sending you big HUGS. Huge hugs.