I hate holidays....
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| Sun, 03-23-2008 - 9:12am |
Does anyone else hate holidays? This Easter has been especialy hard on me and I didn't see that coming. My m/c was at the end of the January and we are "sort of" back on the TTC road. I go next week for my post op appt with Dr. Love :) so I hoping to get the big OK to officialy TTC . This will actually be the first time in almost 2 years that we are actively trying. I really thought I had given up on TTC after all that we have been through but this suprise pregnacy in January brought back so many emotions because it happened on it own and it made me want to try again becasue.... what if.......
Up to this point had, somewhat successfully, putaside the feelings that I had when the whole family would get together like the kids running all over (DH has 4 siblins and 6 nieces and nephews) and sister-in-laws talking about their kids and how they are doing in school ( I usually just quietly leave the room) Now I don't know what to do.... all of those feelings have come rushing back like a title wave and it feels worse that I remember.
I didn't even go to church this moring for easter .... I haven't been going to church lately because I don't think I can keep myself composed for and hour and a half (I am having and argument with the guy upstairs right now) and I know alot of the people there and I don't want to fall apart and not be able to put myself back together. And...... I don't like all the questions. I can pray and cry at home.
I know what you are thinking if you are reading this. This girl is nuts. Well I am going to make an appointment this week to talk to someone about my nutty tendencies.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent and Happy Easter... really!
Kay

I hear 'ya, sister!
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At church Sunday, our pastor ended the service by having a new mom stand up and announce the name of her 1 wk old baby girl. He then asked all the mothers who were expecting or who had young babies with them to please stand. At that point he began talking about what a miracle babies are, so perfect and innocent, etc. I almost had a total meltdown right there in church. To top it off, at Easter dinner there were three young baby girls, a little boy, and one of my best friends who is 6 months along. It was like everywhere I looked there were babies, people talking about babies, or people getting ready to have babies.
waiting_wishing, OMG I would have totally lost it!
We went to my parent's church, and I told DH before we left that if anyone asked if I was pregnant, I was going to punch them.
Sometimes, as much as I adore my hometown, I wish more people had the sense to not ask! I'm also in a small town (approx. 4500) and everyone knows EVERYONE. DH and I have been married almost 4 years and I swear I get asked everywhere I go. At least once a week. The bank. The post office. The fuel company. The grocery store. Everywhere. "So and so is pregnant. When are you two gonna have kids" "What are you two waiting for, you've been married forever!" "Once you stop trying it will happen...that's what worked for my sister's cousin's ex-college roomate."
However, church on Sunday took the cake :)
Ladies you all deserve a big hug and praise - it is not easy to keep one's self composed at holidays - I have had similar incidents that you all describe - and sometimes don't ya just want to scream "WE ARE WORKING ON IT!!" or "IT"S NOT AS EASY AS YOU ALL WOULD LIKE TO THINK IT IS."
My MIL asks me those same questions too, this Easter it was " Are you trying again this month? You know this is the last try for a 2008 baby?" I wanted to scream at her - of course I know that. Then she went on to tell me that a baby conceived around my birthday (August) would bring a grandchild around her birthday (April) I had a silent laugh at that because apparently she doesn't know that July makes an April baby! I know for a fact because my dad's b-day is in July and I have two sisters with the same birthday 16 years apart - and if you do the math well...you know.
Just once wouldn't it be nice for someone to acknowledge all of us that desperately want a child - we don't care boy, girl single or multiples,biological or adopted