Sick and tired...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Sick and tired...
5
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 12:05am

Hi all,


I just need to vent. It is just before midnight, almost MOnday. I have not slept well in 3 nights because I caught the cold/flu thing that has been so common. My nose is so stuffed up I can't breathe at all. When I try to breathe through my mouth, I start to cough. My throat is dry and killing me and I already called out for work tomorrow. Arrghhh.... I can't sleep because every time I start to fall asleep,my mouth closes and I wake up because I can't breathe.


I have a PG test in just under 2 weeks and (despite this not being healthy) I will be really annoyed if it comes out negative and I could have taken a decongestant to get on with my life.  It just seems like one more time that TTC is getting in the way of life. My DH and I went away this weekend and I was sick the whole time. Every day was worse. Tonight is the worst yet, I am not getting better. This is our 3rd IUI and I had not gotten away at all for a really long time. I was soooo looking forward to it and then I was sick. We ended up sleeping in different beds, so that he could sleep.


I wouldn't mind the sacrifices if I were pregnant, but I'm not and I have bee sacrificing for 1.5 years now with no positive result.


I really resent this... how do you girls handle feeling this way?


Thanks!


Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 11:21am

Hi Lisa,

Sorry that you are feeling so crappy. When it comes to me being sick and hoping that I am pregnant, it is easy. I can't give up that this time it might have worked. If there is even the slightest chance that it might have taken, it is worth the sacrifice to me.

Every time that we tried, I did everything right just in case. You are lucky that you are still able to try to get pregnant. I am stuck in a holding pattern trying to save up enough money for IVM or IVF (IVM is cheaper).

Don't give up that this might be the time that it works for you. It will happen for you and all the failed attempts will make the successful one that much sweater. Be strong and enjoy the fact that you can stay in bed and be miserable at home.

I hope that you are feeling better soon and I will send you baby dust so that this try is the one that works for you.

Ellen xoxoxoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 12:24pm


Thank you Ellen,

You are totally right. My DH does a pretty good job of keeping me in optimistic mode, but I slip at times. At least we are trying, that is very true.
The good news is also that I am starting to feel better and it's only the middle of the day. It looks like yesterday may have been the peak and maybe I'm getting better now.

I called our clinic and the nurse told me that sometimes woman get sick around the time of tests. I guess the immune system is down if a woman is pregnant. So, if that is true, that is good news. I will try to remain optimistic.

Are you doing ok in the holding pattern? Do you celebrate Easter? If so, I hope it wasn't too hard for you.

Thanks for the baby dust and the reminder to be positive...

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 1:54pm

Hi Lisa,

I have been meaning to write, but time seems to be flying by. We did celebrate Easter and it was hard. I spent the whole time telling people that we were not pregnant and that it was not going to be any time soon.

We have opted to not tell people about our IF issues. My husband finds it hard to deal with. He feels like he is less of a man because of it. I keep telling him that if he had heart disease it would not be his fault so why is this his fault. It drives me nuts. I am a half full kind of gall and he is a half empty kinda guy. I guess we balance each other out.

As for the holding pattern, it is hard. It seems that I keep noticing people around me that are pregnant and it makes me so sad for us. Our daughter needs a sibling. I know that I am lucky to have her and that lots of people would give anything to have just one. But, what can I say. I really don't want her to be alone in life when we are gone. It had also never crossed my mind that we would not be able to have another child so mentally I am not ready to accept it. I know we were lucky the first time (worked on the first IUI), I just want it to work again.

I think that the hardest part is that my husband does the whole "I was under too much stress, I will be more relaxed and it will work". He wants us to try another IUI, he is not getting the fact that we tried 6 and his swimmers did not cross the finish line. I do not have an infertility issue we have MF only. It is hard when the "if you just relaxed speech" comes from the one who has the issue. I know that it is his male ego not wanting to admit that we now need IVF or IVM.

I guess it is my turn to do a bit of venting. See, that is the good thing about this board. We are all there for each other, when nobody else gets it.

Ellen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Sat, 03-29-2008 - 12:28pm

Hi Ellen
I'm sorry Easter was hard.
As for telling people, we opted to tell our parents and have them just spread the word that we had no urge to talk about it. People say nothing, which is good at times.

It's interesting what you say about your daughter needing a sibling. One of the conversations I have with my husband that always leaves me upset is the conversation of "what if" we manage to get pregnant once, would we do this again? Would we adopt another child?
He is not willing (at this point) to adopt a second child. He think that if we can only have one, then it's fate. I cannot imagine having one child, I have always imagined having two or more. I have stopped mentioning it, because it only leaves me upset and we really are not there yet, so...

I am currently waiting for the results of my 3rd IUI. The test is in a week. I have been ok, but now I am starting to get worried. I have no symptoms at all. Most months, I have had some kind of breast soreness or something. This month, nothing. Part of me thinks that I should just accept that this month didn't work either. Although, as my husband points out, I have had the symptoms before and the test was always negative, so... it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all.

We have the MF issue as well. None of the tests on me have brought back anything interesting, it's really his numbers. I sometimes wonder if he should be more open minded to listening to me when I talk about alternate measures. For instance I get into moods where I just want to stop trying and forget about it... just adopt. He says that we are not there yet. I love the "we". It's not his body they are playing with, it's mine. I imagine that he isn't there yet, not that strange. Arghhh....

I have psychotic swinging thoughts. Some days I am totally fine, other days... not really. I know this is common, but that doesn't make it any less fun. you know?

The good news (in a strange way) is that I got into a car accident the other day. I was rear ended while at a complete stop. I was really tired, still a bit sick, and could not really muster enough energy to be more than a bit annoyed. Insurance is already taking care of the minor damage to my car, but my perspective is better. It's just a car and nobody was hurt.

Anyway...

So, I have vented... Now I need to go clean my house. fun, huh?

Hope you are keeping well.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 8:03pm

((((lisa))))


BUMMER!