It's just not fair!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
It's just not fair!
7
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 7:01pm

I know something similar has happened to all of us, but I just want to kick and scream, "it's not fair!" Here's what happened....


DH and I went to a bar in our hometown last night to see a live band and kick off the long weekend. Just as we were about to leave we ran into an old friend from high school. I actually dated this guy in middle school, lol! Then we all went to the same HS and DH was friends with him then. 


We were catching up on what each of us has been up to the past few years and he starts in telling us that he knocked up his girlfriend, then married her. They had a son. A few months before the baby was born he got in a car accident and broke his back, then got addicted to the pain killers, which led him to a heroine addiction. He then lost his job and couldn't even afford to replace a broken window. His wife then also got addicted to the drugs and after three years she decided to get clean and divorce him. He is now going through the divorce and trying to get clean himself. And trying to be a better dad.


He then goes on and on and on and on about how having a baby changed his life because while his wife was pregnant he thought, oh, it's just a baby. But then when the baby was born it was life-altering. He showed us a picture of this beautiful little boy. He kept talking about what a pain it is that they're potty training him now and he still wets his pants. Then he keeps going with, "oh, you have no idea what it's like..." blah, blah, blah. Then, THEN, he says to us, "TAKE YOUR TIME GUYS. I'M SERIOUS. DON"T HAVE KIDS! JUST TAKE YOUR TIME." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DH looked at me with pleading eyes and I knew he didn't want me to say anything, so neither of us did. I just very akwardly ended the conversation by asking DH if he was ready to go without saying anything to the guy.  I wanted to cry and scream and kick and yell at the guy for being such an idiot. I couldn't believe that two people could accidently get pregnant and then both get addicted to drugs and ruin their child's life and then have the nerve to tell other people not to have kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*Deep breath*


Thank you for listening to my vent. The world is so unfair.


Erin

Erin & Ryan Sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 10:51pm

(((HUGS))) Erin.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 10:43am
(((HUGS))) it is soo unfair.
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 4:29pm

Thanks for your thoughts, Isabel.


Susan, I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone, as well.


I've come to a conclusion over all this. People say stupid things. That's it, plain and simple.


Erin

Erin & Ryan Sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 09-01-2008 - 12:19pm
Yep people say stupid things and do stupider things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 11:50am

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Erin,


ARG!!! I think I would've reacted exactly the same! Here's this guy, gets addicted to drugs, and then has the nerve to say that his SON'S the pain??? AND THEN, tell you guys not to have a baby, as if EVERYONE that get's pregnant gets addicted. PFFFFFFF! I'm so sorry he dumped that on you guys!

wedding2-1.jpg picture by Sbaltozer


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 5:04pm

Erin,


I'm sorry you had to hear

Liz- Mom to Jacob, born 2/4/11. IF and Miscarriage survivor. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 2:39pm

Thanks, girls. It did make me realize that even though I don't have a baby yet, my life could be in worse shape. This was a guy that I even dated (if you count holding hands in middle school "dating!" lol). At least while we were talking to him before the whole "don't have a baby thing" I felt like we were the one's with our act together - the lives to envy. Here we are with a condo in the city, a house in the country, a brand new truck in the driveway and two well-established careers. At first I even felt bad when he asked where we were living because he had just told us that he'd moved back in with his parents.


Oh well. Such is life. I guess everyone is blessed in different ways and we all have to learn to see those blessings for what they are. It just kills me that some people see their blessings as burdens.


Erin

Erin & Ryan Sig