vent about DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
vent about DH
9
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 2:56pm
Last night was finally the first day we could BD after AF and the u/s where they took a sample of tissue. You would think that after 2 weeks of nothing he would jump at the chance but he got mad at me and said that because he had to work the next day he didn't want to go to bed and would not be going up till later. It was already 12. I already have enough problems sleeping and the longer i stay up the worse i sleep. But it not just the night before he goes back to work. It's most nights and i don't know what to do anymore. To top it off he wants everything to be peachy keen the next day. I truely understand his job sucks and he doesn't want the morning to come but is it worth ruining our marriage. Maybe i'm just being stupid and selfish but it gets harder and harder to get him to come to bed. I've tried explaining every which way i know how. does anyone have words of advise for me?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 3:03pm
aww I'm so sorry DH isn't being more understanding. Maybe you need to pick a time where you can both talk to each other, without any distractions, and without being in bed. Maybe sit on the couch or at the kitchen table - somewhere neutral. I really think you should voice your feelings.

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Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 3:07pm
Have you tried bringing the BDing to him....
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 3:50pm
you know he did say something about that last night. We've never een able to do that befoe because we either had his brother living with us or my son. I'm still not used to having the house just to us. Thanks!!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 3:53pm
I try alot but i'll just keep trying. I don't want to lose my marriage. He just doesn't like to talk about our problems, being this or anything else. He always changes the subject or laughs it off. Which can sometimes be a good thing but sometimes the problems should just be solved. Thanks for your advice.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 4:47pm

What a poop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 6:22pm
i think it's a good idea to find some time to talk. i also wonder if it's important for the two of you to agree upon a time to BD. i know it sounds unromantic, but it can be romantic; like looking forward to a date. so, this evening at 8 could be your BD date, and then he could come to bed to sleep as late as he pleases.

ana


TTC since Sept '06
Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07
IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze)
IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07, FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer)
IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42)
1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days. 2nd cycle: Clomid (200mg CD5-9), IUI 9/9, waiting...

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 8:05pm
Been there done that.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 8:19pm
Wow, thanks to all. This may sound funny, but it nice to know i'm not the only one that has had this problem. I felt stupid posting that but i'm glad I did even if it was to get it off my chest. I tried to tell him again today that we need to do something to come to an agreement. I've tried to do the lets go up early and stay late, worked for a while then stopped working but maybe we will give it another shot. Thank you all for helping.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 8:39pm
I think the other ladies had great suggestions. I just wanted to reiterate that IF is difficult on all fronts, including on our relationships. It takes extra effort (on all sides) to get thru it. G/L!


- Connie




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Me-37, DH-28


TTC 2 years - MFI


IVF #1 March 2008 - BFN (cycle too long/lining too old)


IVF #2 September 2008 - BFN (currently unknown/will find out 9/24)



- Connie

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Me-38, DH-29
TTC 2 years - MFI
IVF #1 M