Heartbroken....devestated...crushed

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Heartbroken....devestated...crushed
18
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 5:00pm

All of the above....


I don't even know what to say....saw the urolgist today after DH's second SA....basically he said everything sucks.....but don't forget you can always adopt or a miracle can happen...


OMG is this happening to us....there is nothing else he can do.....keep taking the clomid things might change, but at this point I can't give you any hope of having a child of your own....


I can't even make sense of my thoughts let alone my words.....We came home and my DH crawled into bed and won't talk to me...he's devastated too....


I don't know what to do now....where  to turn....I'm going to my PCP on tuesday, guess I'll find out then what he wants us to do.....RE maybe...I dunno


Dh isn't sterile....he has sperm....they just aren't motile...no forward progression....low count....nothing there to do IUI or IVF....


What do I do now?


 


--Jeanne

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 6:35pm

dear jeanne,

(((((HUGS))))) i'm so sorry. i know how getting that news brings you to the edge of devastation. DH has azoospermia and he had a TESA biopsy to extract tissue and we thought that as long as there were sperm inside him, we could do IVF/ICSI. well, we've sinced determined that his sperm is not viable (embies could not produce blasts) and have been told there's nothing more that can be done w/ DH sperm. i was so terrified of getting that news. i guess what helped a bit was to make a plan w/ RE to move onto the next step.

i know i can't say anything that can change anything you're going through, but please know i'm here for you. it's too hard a road to go down alone.

ana


TTC since Sept '06
Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07
IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze)
IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07, FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer)
IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42)
1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 6:45pm

*Hugs*


After big news like that there's going to be some adjustment time, no doubt. My best suggestion is to give it a few days to sink in before deciding on the next step.


When my DH found out that our IF was most likely being caused by my multitude of medical issues, he wouldn't talk to me about it for several weeks. He just needed time to figure things out for himself - self-adjustment time, basically.


KUP

Erin & Ryan Sig


me 24/DH 24/together since 10-30-2000/married since 8-12-2006/TTC #1 since August 2007/Dx primary hypopituitarism (since childhood, generally low hormones incl. hypothyroid and pituitary dwarfism - though I'm 5'2" after meds),

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 7:29pm

Ty ana


The urologist just made it sound like we had no other options....we are def. going to go to another doc and get a 2nd opinion...he didn't even mention Donor Sperm or that thing where they put the needle in to get the sperm directly....I'm really ticked off at him, he just totally blew us off I feel like....kinda like we wasted 3 months with him....if he didn't want to follow this through till the end he shouldn't have taken us as patients anyways....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 7:31pm
My DH finally got out of bed....broke down crying to me...I told him to calm down there had to be other options....he said if I wanted to leave him he would understand....I told him not to dear think like that....that def wasn't an option....I'd rather be childless then without him....he truly is my soulmate....this is just so upsetting....My head hurts my eyes hurt from crying and I feel deflated...IF really does hurt!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 8:03pm
( ( ( H U G S ) ) ) I'm so sorry. I would do like erin says and just give it a while for things to sink in. Sometimes if you let it go for a while you can figure out what needs to be done. Remember we're all here for you.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 8:05pm
(((((((HUGS)))))))) When we found out that it was NOT my DH I did the same thing your DH did.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 8:29pm

(((HUGS)))


Jeanne, all I can say is WOW!! It is really hard to hear something like that.

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2006
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 10:27pm
Jeanne, I know I am new around here so I don't know a lot about your journey, but I wanted to send major ((((hugs))) your way and let you know that you are being thought of and prayed for.
 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2008
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 10:40am

Dear Jeanne,


Was this a regular urologist or a reproductive urologist?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 11:19am

Allison


Regular urologist....I'm gonna ask for a referrel to a reproductive urologist....his morphology was actually one thing that had increased ALOT....which is why I was so confused about why he said adoption

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