15 betas later - crossposted everywhere
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|Mon, 11-10-2008 - 6:20pm|
After 15 betas, my ectopic pregnancy and first IVF cycle are officially over. Tomorrow would have I would have been eleven weeks pregnant with our first child.
I am pretty ok. Just sad, but no longer suffering the out-of-control grief, anger, and anxiety that characterized the earlier weeks of this loss. I am also optimistic that my next IVF cycle will go well. It wasn't as hard as I had anticipated, and according to my RE, the protocol "blew the doors off" -- for my age anyway. It will be a couple more months before we can try again, because of the teratogenic effects of methotrexate.
Meanwhile, DH & I will be getting tattoos to memorialize our little one. We have chosen a sillhouette of a bird -- it is flying either away or toward us, depending on how you look at it. I'll email you the pic that inspired it, if you are interested. This is my first tattoo, and DH's second. His first is from his time in the military, another very painful and meaningful time in his life.
I will also settle into my new job, start running and lifting and maybe boxing again, finish another pre-requisite for my PhD, and enjoy the occasional single-malt scotch on the rocks. I hope to be more of a presence on this board, as you girls have been the greatest thing that has happened to me in a long time. Work is cramping my style, but I'll try.
Thanks again to everyone who has provided support and even to those who have read my story in the dark of night and felt for me. Sharing our stories is essential for healing, and I am so grateful for the opportunity.
Me: 39 10/12. Him: 39 4/12. We: together 11 years, married 8, TTC#1.
Day 3 FSH 8.9, 10.9. Day 3 Estradiol 85, 52. (Mar & June 2008, respectively.)
SA < 1% morphology.
Started acupuncture. Not sure if it is helping my fertility, but it helped my 15-year-old shoulder injury the first day!!!
Finally a plan: IVF/ICSI. OCPs 8/14-31. Started GonalF (300) & Menopur (150) on 9/5. Started Ganirelix on 9/11. Ten follies! Triggered 9/14. Retrieval 9/16 -- 12 eggs, ten fertilized. Transferred three eight-cell embryos on 9/19. One made it to freeze. Beta #1 152 on 17 dpo. Beta #2 161 on 19 dpo. Beta #3 106. Beta #4 129. Beta #5 134. Beta # 6 99, Beta #7 109. Karmen biopsy negative. It's officically ectopic. Beta #8 140. Methotrexate on 10/15. Beta #9 201. Beta #10 212. Methotrexate again on 10/21. Beta #11 140. Beta #12 119. Finally some progress. Please let this end!!