Here we go again??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Here we go again??
6
Sat, 11-15-2008 - 3:37pm
Hello, 
I have a few questions about my recent situation. The first is about my husband. His sperm count is just fine. Not wonderful, but normal. However, his morphology and motility are terrible. He finally had his apointment with the urologist a couple of weeks ago, and he said that he was sure my husband has a Varicocele. He thinks he could even feel it. Now we will have to wait another couple of months just to get in to see the doctor at the university, and another couple after that probably for him to have an operation to correct it. My first question is, has anyone had this experience? Does the operation improve the sperm quality?
Now for my bigger questions. Here is what's going on: The other day I had bad stomach pains. I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive (I bought a couple more and I am going to try one later to be sure). I was pregnant two years ago with my husband and I had a miscarriage at about 9 weeks. I suddenly realize that it could have been his poor sperm quality that caused the miscarriage (not that I blame him and certainly wouldn't say this to him). Now I am pregnant again, and I am not excited. The doctor told us it was impossible for us to get pregnant before his opertaion (not to mention my periods are highly irregular, as I do not ovulate every month). The chances were 0. The only thing I can think of is that because he has a strong NUMBER of sperm, he is able to make me pregnant, but I will soon lose this one just as I lost the last. I am sure of it. I am actually just waiting to miscarry. It is a terrible feeling. The other thing I am hating is that, because we thuoght there was no chance, I drank quite heavily a couple of weekends (Halloween I think I had most of a big bottle of gin in martinis!). I know they say don't worry about what you did before you knew, but this was a lot. Not a couple of beers. I also had one cooler almost every night before bed. I feel like I don't deserve this, I am not in the proper shape I wanted to be in to be pregnant, and yet I have this life growing inside of me that I just will not let myself get atached to, because I am sure it is not to be. He feels the same. I have not gone to the doctor yet. The last time I was pregnant they set up all of these future appointments for me and then kept calling me to remind me of them long after I lost the baby (even thought I had a D&C and I told them many times not to call, as I had miscarried) and it was heartbreaking. I am just scared to get that ball rolling again. To go through all of that. I am taking care of myself, back on the folic acid and eating very well and all of that. I am just sure I am doomed to suffer another loss. Anyone ever experience somehting like this? Any advice? I am really scared and alone right now. I don't want to tell my family and friends. I don't want any congratulations this time. I just wish this had happened after his operation. Then I would feel very, very happy. Thanks for any help you can offer,

Mandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Sat, 11-15-2008 - 3:50pm

(((HUGS)))


Mandy, WOW...I guess the best thing to do is take it one day at a time.

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Sat, 11-15-2008 - 4:15pm

Hi Mandy,


Your going through a lot right now and it is normal and OK to be scared.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Sat, 11-15-2008 - 8:21pm

Thank you so much for your support. It's nice to know that it is out there. Yes, I am going to make a doctor's appointment on Monday with my husband when he goes for the results of his second semen analysis (who knows, maybe the first was one was a fluke?)...Thanks for your perspective on the drinking, I have read many discussion boards that seem to lean that way, so I think maybe that aspect of it is o.k. I did a second home pregnancy test today and it agreed with the first, so there is definitely something going on in there, whether I will have a baby in 9 months or another D&C is, as you said, just a test of time. Its frustrating when you can't see the future, and every bit of pregnancy just seems so slow-going. But I guess when your body is making a new human being, it likes to take its time! Thanks again!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 3:00pm
Hi Mandy, I just wanted to echo Susan and Terri.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 4:49pm

Thanks, Jessica.


You guys are all so helpful. And thanks for the well-wishes. I actually had morning sickness this morning. And unlike the last time I was pregnant, it actually happened in the morning! It actually felt pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 6:53pm

Mandy,


I agree with the other girls that drinking will probably not have hurt the baby...if it's meant to stick, it will stick.

Remembering o