I so need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2008
I so need to vent
3
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 6:20pm
So I pretty much can't stand it anymore and need to vent somewhere were I don't have to worry about my co workers or family or friends reading this cause its about them. Yep you guessed it. They are all pregnant!!!! Currently I personally know 8 people who are pregnant. 3 sister in laws (i only have four and the last one isn't married yet) 3 cousins, one co worker and one friend. But that doesn't count the ones who just had their babies and the people I know of that are pregnant.For the last year it has been a constant number 7 or sometimes we have an 8th like this month. Every time someone has their baby I find out another one is pregnant. What is so wrong about me getting pregnant?! We have be TTC for over two years now, 3 months of clomid alone and 3 IUI's we are in the 2ww to find out if the third one worked. But after this we are done. It is too hard. We thought about going with IVF but with the cost and the needles (I have an unnatural fear of needles) it would be just as much to adopt a baby and adoption has a guarantee but honestly I don't want to HAVE to go that route. AHHHHHHHHHHH And what makes it worse is our families are supportive and thats great but it also means I get phone calls all the time, "so when do we find out if it worked?" Its like "people i am trying not to think about it, stop reminding me!" But I can't be rude cause I love them and they are just concerned but i'm so tired. I know you ladies know what I am saying. And then everyone steps around and says I don't want to hurt you but thats all they talk about is being pregnant, and its worse when we get together with family and everyone is pregnant but me! And then they act like I don't know anything about babies just cause I don't have one. I have been babysitting since I was 10 and was a nanny for 2 years! Like I don't know anything COME ON!!!!
I keep trying to have hope and faith and all that but I've scraping the bottom of the barrel for a long time. -sigh- Everyone says it will come just hang in there but how long am I expected to hold on for. And I do realize there are others who having hard it harder and have been waiting longer and everything but this is my vent session.
Growing up I never wanted to be anything but a mom. My parents divorced when I was very young and my mom has always had to work but wanted to stay home and there were so many times i wished she were home cause I needed something. its so hard when it never comes and you've been planning it your whole life. So I'm sending this message to the universe. Can we please try something else?! AHHHHHHH Can't we try having the people who want kids get pregnant and the people who don't want them, not? Sounds like a good plan to me.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 8:43pm

(((HUGS))) I am right there with you.

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 8:56pm

(((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 12:21pm
I am so sorry you are going through this.

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