So Terrified

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
So Terrified
7
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 1:44pm

Hi all,

I just had my first ever IUI after doing Gonal-F and Centrotide injectibles. I had eight mature follicles going into the IUI. My RE suggested we cancel the cycle, due to a risk of multiples, but allowed me to ultimately decide.

My DH had a terrific SA, despite me travelling with the specimen for 45 minutes.

With so many targets and such great counts, I can't fathom how I could NOT be preggo. and yet, I know that is the most likely scenario. It's 1 dpo, and I am so sure it didn't work. I am terrified of how I will feel if I get that BFN. There is NOTHING that could top this cycle. Everything was so perfect. I feel like I will totally lose it if this doesn't work out.

How do you all deal with constant disappointment, especially when cycles that should turn out well, don't?

I feel so hopeless right now!

Em (26), DH (33)
Mom to three, struggling to conceive #4 (No birth control since June 2007, actively trying since early 2008). Diagnosed as unexplained IF.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
In reply to: patemmy
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 3:05pm

em,

(((hugs))) it's so hard going through all this. you'll probably have days when you're sure it's a yes, and days you're sure it's a no (at least i did!) but you still have a long 2ww ahead of you. remember that even in a "perfect" cycle, it doesn't mean you'll get pg or else there's something wrong. that's why it can take couples w/o IF issues more than 1 month to get pg. ok, after saying that, sounds like you have a really good chance this cycle. the waiting is torture, i know. but remember that the wait is so that a little bean can develop and implant and keep sticking...

in terms of dealing w/ the disappointment, it gets harder and harder i find. you deal w/ it b/c you have to. the only thing that helped me was looking toward the next cycle. as for right now, keep sending sticky vibes down there and pamper yourself!

ana


TTC since Sept '06. Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07. IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze). IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07 (w/ fresh TESA), FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer). IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42). 1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
In reply to: patemmy
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 3:22pm

EM, (((HUGS))) These are all normal feelings.

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
In reply to: patemmy
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 5:23pm

HUGS and lots of baby dust and sticky vibes.


I have been in the TTC arena for 7 years now and what keeps me going is reminding myself of the blessings I already have.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
In reply to: patemmy
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 8:52pm
(((((HUGS))))) Em.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: patemmy
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 9:52pm

Lots of (((((HUGS))))) Em.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
In reply to: patemmy
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 2:26pm

Thank you to all of you wonderful ladies who responded. I've been struggling with IF for well over a year now, so I don't typically put much stock into getting pg on a "normal" cycle. I guess I just feel like everything went as smoothly as it could, and I just don't know what "more" we can do next time around if this doesn't work.

But I have been blessed with three wonderful kids, so I just need to focus on them during this dreaded 2WW. Thanks to everyone pointing out that I may need to focus on the blessings in my life. It is so true :-)

I don't know what this cycle will bring, but even if I get yet another dreaded BFN... I'll survive somehow :-)

Thanks and good luck to everyone!

Em

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
In reply to: patemmy
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 10:06pm
I don't have any advice or experience but I just thought I would offer some *HUGS* and say don't give up hope! A positive attitude really goes a long way!






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