Quick mini Vent
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|Sat, 12-20-2008 - 9:59pm|
OK so today me and all of my Cousins on my Mom's side of the family went to take a picture for My Gram's 75th birthday. So I have the one cousin that is 8 mos. pregnant. The entire time we were there she was complaining about how she couldn't wait to have the baby because she was so uncomfortable, and just wanted it all over. I don't know if it was the entire time, or just when I was near her, but she kept bringing it up every time she talked to someone new. She was walking around holding her belly the entire time.
Then we get to the restaurant where we are having the party for Gram, and my SIL's very pregnant best friend is sitting there with my brother and SIL. She is a really sweet girl, and I like her normally, but at one point the baby was kicking like crazy, and she was having my SIL and brother feel her belly, and she looked over at me and said would you like to feel too? it was all I could do not to cry. Now she has no idea about our IF, and it was a completely innocent offer, but it still struck me like a ton of bricks. I politely declined, and headed back to the bar to refresh my glass of wine. Pretty sure that SIL told her what was up because I could see her looking at me with this look of complete "OMG what did I just do" on her face.
I just wanted to scream, why can't that be me! I have been doing so great lately, but it just kills me that I can't do what is so easy for everyone else. OK I'm done now, I just needed to get it all out!
:) Jessica. Thank you Susan for the beautiful siggy!
Jessica 30/ Paul 31/ TTC since 2004, DX: Ovulation Issues and PCOS. *6 cycles of 50mg and 100 mg Clomid in 2006 and 2007. *IUI#1 11/2007 -BFN *IUI#2 12/2007 - BFN *Took an 8 month break from TTC. *New Plan: IUI with Femara, if my cyst does not resolve itself, I will go on BCP's for a month, followed by the IUI with Femara.