Always Remember

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Always Remember
17
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 10:38pm

I had this revalation and wanted to share:


I was talking to one of my GFs the other day.  She was telling me about how one of her friends has been TTC and she is devastated that it didn't happen the first month.  I kinda of blew it off like wait till she gets to 1 year or 2 years come and talk to me.  I was talking to Doug and he was like wait don't you remember how you felt.  Well I had diner w/ my GF, her DH, GF's friend, her DH, and another couple.   I told my GF that I wasn't sure if I wanted to come that night because in a previous conversation I was worried about having baby talk.  This was shortly after we had made the DE decision and I wasn't 100% comfortable with it.  By the night of the dinner I was very comfortable and very willing to talk.  The other couple who knew about my IF and treatment asked me how things were going.  I was telling her how we have gotten to the point where insurance doesn't pay for anything.  Then all of a sudden my GF changes the subject and I orginally thought it was for me that she was changing the subject.  I come to find out later that her GF's DH asked her to change the subject because she has been crying about it and is very frustrated.  She has no one to talk to.  It made me remember.


That was me, I was devastated that it didn't happen the first month, second month, etc.   How could I be so insensitive?  My GFs friend is now at 4 months of TTC and she is very frustrated and apparently was balling to my friend.  How could I forget how I felt those first few months?  So, yesterday I had to tell Doug something I don't normally like to to tell him, "You are right!"  This experience has taught me so much and I need to be sensitive to all the women who are struggling TTC.  Most of us don't know that it could take more then one month.  I need remember how I felt that first year and be supportive to the women around me who are struggling whether it is just 3 months to 10 years.  I think we need to remember how we feel during this time so when someone close to us needs our support and understanding we can be there to support them. 


I used to get so upset when people would tell me don't worry it will happen, just relax.  Oh you have only been trying a few months don't worry.  Or the OB who told me I got this couple pregnant in one month.  Those things hurt me...I don't want to hurt anyone, I want to help.  Thank you Doug for helping me remember my purpose in this struggle. 

 

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  TTC TTC #1 since June 2006, Me 28 & DH 29, IVF #1 ICSI and AH ~ BFN, IVF #2 Jan ICSI and AH ~ BFN, Next Step DE and mock cycle, DX ~ DOR not POF, TTC w/ the assitance of Traditional Chinese Medicine  "To get through the hardest Journey we need to take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping." ~Chinese Proverb


IVF #2:
BCPs 12/22-1/6
Starting Lupron 1/9
Start Stims 1/11
1/14 First u/s saw 5 follicles!!!
1/16 Second u/s 7 follicles and 4 measurable!!!
1/18 Thrid u/s 8 follicles 6 measurable 3-11s, 14, 15, and 18
1/20 Triggered @12:45
1/22 ER @ 12:45 6 eggs retrieved 1 fertilized
ET 1/25 surprise at ET 2 embies growing 2 4-cells transfered
Turtle & Rabbit are snuggling in :o)
Beta 2/9~BFN
Moving onto DE Mock cycle as soon as AF comes
Mock done and I responded great (I have a beautiful uterus)


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 10:57pm
Susan, you are entirely correct. Before I began ttc I was seeing an obgyn who told me that for healthy women my age (I was 32) it should take an average of 3 tries to get pg. So by month 3 I was totally upset that it wasn't happening. All my pg friends told me it took them 2 or 3 months. So I had a feeling something was not right when I failed to conceive in that time frame. I joined this support group after only 8 months TTC, but it felt like a lifetime by then and I am so glad no one judged me and told me to come back when it's been a year. Everyone was so accepting. Sometimes you know right away something is wrong....My luteal phase was only 9 days long back then, so no wonder I couldn't get pg!! Tell your friend she is welcomed to join us on this board if she wants. We will welcome her with open arms.


34 years old, Dh is 38; TTC since August 2007. DX - hormonal irregularities and/or poor egg quality due to age

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:11am

Your so right....we've been at this for so long, sometimes it's hard to remember back that far, at the beginning, and how painful it was....She's very lucky to have a friend like you though....You have so much knowledge on the subject---i'm sure you could be a tremendous help and comfort to her...


That first month we tried...I was on my honeymoon when AF came....and i was so positive that I was going to be pregnant, I didn't even bring any tampons.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:38am

Jeanne, I am so happy to you can reply to me now also!!!


WOW!!!

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:52am

This is a good thing to remember.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 9:01am

LOL


I stock pile tampons now too!!!


Back at the beginning I kept buying those small travel boxes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 9:33am
I remember not worrying about much of anything for the first couple of months until I realized that AF never started again after I stopped taking BCP.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 10:36am

C had to tell several people about his surgery because of work limitations so they all know we are TTC/IF. He deals with it all so well, better than me a lot of the time.


The other day a male co-worker of C came to him and started talking about how he and his wife have been TTC for 6 months, and they are getting worried so she bought her first OPK this month. At first I thought, well they are young (27/28) so they have time, and I felt the dread that we are going to hear another BFP announcement from someone only trying a few months...then I realized what I wished I had done at the 6 month point and told C to recommend TCOYF and charting, and to stress that if there is something they feel is off to see a dr and not wait a year, without making it seem like we think they are IF too.


A few weeks before that, another co-worker said, "Well, all I will have to do is (u-know what) in my wife and she will be pregnant. Would you

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 11:22am
LMAO!!! GO C!!!
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 11:27am

Thanks Susan...I agree he is a keeper.

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 11:30am
Angela if you want I will join you in punching him...LOL
  

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