FURIOUS with opinions!!!!!!!
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|Thu, 03-05-2009 - 10:30am|
This is copied and pasted from my blog. It's long, but I had to post it. I am just so incredibly angry.
I listen to 96.3 WDVD (a Detroit station) every morning during my 25 minute drive to work. This morning I was FURIOUS over their topic of conversation. Of course, it all started with Octomom. Go figure.
I was so upset that I had to write them an email (and I am so not that kind of person). I would describe the problem, but I think just copying and pasting the email will let you figure out what went wrong.
Dear Blaine, Lisa, and Allyson,
I have been a fan of your show for a couple of years now, and I listen to it every morning on my 25 minute drive to work. However, this morning you literally had me in tears after your conversation about Octomom, and I truly believe you need to apologize to a lot of people tomorrow morning.
My husband and I can't have children naturally because of a medical problem he had when he was younger. If this had been corrected on time, he probably would have been fine. But his parents and doctors decided to sit around until he was 5 years old before he had surgery to correct the problem.
We have been trying to have kids since we got married, and we found out in December that we have to use IUI (intrauterine insemination) in order to overcome my husband's fertility issues.
Blaine, today you made a big deal about how you don't think people who can't have children should have children. Apparently science is lying to us by allowing us to have this kids we so desperately want. We should just go and adopt.
I believe adoption is an amazing thing, and I would love to adopt. However, my husband and I don't have $25,000 lying around to spend on having just one kid. (IUI, on the other hand, costs $200 a shot.)
Why should my husband and I miss out on the joy of being pregnant, giving birth, and having our own biological children just because his parents and doctors made a mistake when he was younger? My entire life all I've ever wanted was to be a mom. I could be happy in many different careers (although I ended up being an elementary school teacher), but I could not be happy if I wasn't a mom. And my biggest fear my entire life was not being able to have my own kids. Now I am faced with that.
You don't understand how excruciatingly painful it is to go through infertility. To want to have kids so badly and not be able to do that without the help of science. You have absolutely no right to make the comments that you made, telling all people suffering from infertility to give up on having their own kids and go adopt.
And Allyson, you made comments about how people going through adoption have to go through all of the red tape to get there. Observations, home studies, classes, evaluations, etc. Now apparently you think that people doing fertility treatments need to do the same thing? Do you know how much all of that costs? The cost is prohibitive for the majority of people. And why should we have to go through psychological evaluations to have children when any normal, fertile person can get pregnant without anyone approving it? (Not to mention all of the drug addicts who get knocked up).
I am furious at the opinions you expressed this morning, and I think you owe everybody who suffers from infertility an apology. I hate what Octomom did, because now every Joe-Blow off the street thinks they're an infertility expert, and that they should be writing legislation to limit which fertility treatments go to who. Sure, her doctors shouldn't have implanted 6 embryos when she obviously had a good track record from IVF. But this situation doesn't give everybody the right to have an opinion on people going through fertility treatments.
I have held back a lot of what I wanted to say to you this morning. But I think I got my point across: Keep your opinions to yourself when you are talking about something that is this horrible and painful for the people going through it. You have no idea what you are talking about.
I would appreciate some acknowledgment of this email.
Apparently those of us suffering from infertility don't deserve to have our own children. Apparently God doesn't think we should have children, and that's why we are infertile. We should all take a hike, close down infertility clinics, come up with $25,000, and adopt. Because adoption is such an easy process. Yeah, they're just handing kids out at grocery stores.
And apparently those of us suffering from infertility should all pay thousands of dollars (on top of the cost of fertility treatments) to be psychologically assessed and evaluated in order to be "allowed" to access fertility treatments. Because if we're infertile, we must have a higher risk of being unfit parents. But don't worry about the crack addict on the corner who just got knocked up by her pimp - she can have a kid. Obviously God intended for that to happen; SHE'S FERTILE!!!!
I cannot believe how people think they have the right to be spouting their opinions about fertility treatments to whoever they want. I'm finding this to be a huge problem just in general (not just on the radio), and I've had to tell many people "You need to shut your mouth, because this is none of your business."
Can everybody please just get a life and stop thinking you're some kind of infertility treatment expert??
Unless you've gone through it yourself, SHUT UP.
On top of this, they replied to my email without apologizing. They just stood by their opinions and thought that they have the right to spread them around without regard to who they're hurting.
Obviously you can't make someone understand how hurtful the things they say are in this situation. I honestly think I will never listen to that radio station again.
I AM FURIOUS!!!
I seriously can't get over my anger right now. And I can't concentrate on teaching my students because I'm so shaken up.
TTC #1. DX: DH has low sperm count. We're trying to improve his count with FertilAid, L-Carnitine, L-Arginine, CoQ10, Niacin, Vitamin C, Folic Acid, and Omega 3. Tried one cycle of Clomid, which caused an annovulatory cycle. HSG showed that my tubes are open. Started AF on 02/26, and we're doing IUI #1 in March 2009! First U/S check will be on March 8.