Girls' Night Out...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Girls' Night Out...
22
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 10:20pm

Sorry if this post gets a little long, but I really feel the need to vent!
So, last night I went to meet with a bunch of women I have known since high school-- some even longer. There were about seven or eight of us there, and most of us have seen each other within the last six months or so, but it has been longer for some. Anyway, so I get there first and everything seems like it is going to be a lot of fun... and then the baby parade arrives!
Out of the next four girls that arrive, one is six months pregnant, one is 13weeks, one has her three month old with her, and the other one has a ton of baby stuff for the two pregnant girls. Now, I knew that these girls were pregnant, but I guess I didn't realize that babies would literally dominate the entire conversation all night. I really didn't mind talking with them about it, and I even tried to interject funny stories about my nephew in order to be part of the conversation. But, I feel like my emotions are so fragile right now that as soon as someone asked when we were gonna have kids my eyes filled up with tears and I went into the bathroom. So much for playing it cool...
Well, you really can't start crying in a group of girls without having a billion questions. so, I decided what the hell and told them all about it... leaving out the part about DH's low motility. (He's asked me not to mention that to our friends... makes him feel like "less of a man.") They were supportive, which was fine, but then they got going with the suggestions. "Oh sweety, you're just too stressed out." Arrrrgh! "Have you tried the ovulation prediction things? I think it took us so long because we didn't have the timing right." I think the look I gave this girl was priceless... (Another girl told me she'd look the other way if I wanted to backhand her!) It took her TWO freaking months! WTH?!?! I mean, really, it's as if I never knew we should be timing our BDing. Wow, now everything will be great. The whole night just turned into them giving me tons of suggestions... The wine was the only thing that kept me going!
Anyway, I'm just so irritated. I know they meant well, but it is really frustrating. AND, I'm mad at myself for not being able to control my emotions better. I think it was just the mix of having a newborn there, two pregnant girls, the cute little clothes, and the endless baby talk that just threw me over the edge. Lately I just seem to be tearing up every time I think about it! I don't think I'll be going back to one of these all girl events until I get my BFP!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 1:09am

((HUGS)) Stephany, I'm sorry your girls' night out turned into a baby parade and you had to feel


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 8:43am

That girl thinks it took her a long time to get pregnant when it was only 2 months??


I would've backhanded her too.


Somebody needs to put a news bulletin out there informing people to not give ANY advice to people suffering from IF.

After struggling with infertility, we welcomed our son Noah on March 18, 2010! Formerly a teacher, I am now a breastfeeding, babywearing, stay at home Mom, and I couldn't love it any more!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 8:48am
Oh Stephany, I know exactly how that feels. My bunko group is nothing but an all night conversation about babies, breastfeeding and being pregnant. I have only told a few of them about my miscarriages and other struggles because I can't handle the "helpful advice" I know I'll receive. My bunko group meets tomorrow night and I am considering not going because of this exact thing. Hugs, I'm sorry your fun night out turned out so miserable!

Kelly


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 9:00am

Stephany (((((hugs))))


I completely understand how you feel!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 12:19pm
HUGS Stephany.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 1:27pm
(((HUGS))) I KWYM unforatunately that is just the way things are for us right now.
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 8:21pm

Grace,
It's so funny that you talked about wanting to run... that is exactly what I was thinking about while I tried to pull myself together in the bathroom. I was thinking, "hmmm.. what illness can I fake to get out of this place?!" But, then I remembered that my husband dropped me off b/c he was going to visit a friend who lived nearby.
Oh well! I'm just happy it is over and I'll know what to expect for next time...
I hope everything is going well with you! I see your beta is on the 30th... Good luck!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 8:25pm

Lauren,
You're so funny! Yeah, I couldn't believe she said that either! I guess that is why I gave her the look of death!

Anyway, you're right about people needing to lay off giving the advice... Really, some of them who were pregnant or have already had a baby were giving me FALSE information that I had to correct. Just because they were lucky enough to actually get pregnant, they think they know everything... SIGH. I know they're nice people and all, but it is good to be able to talk about them with people who understand my frustration!

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 8:28pm

Kelly,
It's nice to have some place to vent. I can understand not wanting to go to bunko... I don't think I'll be hanging out with all of these girls without our significant others for a while.

Thanks for the hugs!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 8:31pm

Thanks for your understanding. It is a pain having to deal with this, isn't it?! I don't think I could bare doing this month after month. I envy your strength! Good luck with the elusive BFP!!!!

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