always the god parent....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
always the god parent....
23
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 9:42am

So SIL calls yesterday to ask DH to be the god father of our newest nephew (this is now 3 god children appeice for us).  While we are thrilled that we are asked, it is heartbreaking too that we can't be a parent ourselves.


Really what is bugging me about this is that SIL didn't even say Happy Birthday to me when I answered the phone.  Since her first child 2 years ago it has been all about her and the kids.... We use to be really good friends.  taking turns every month or so visiting the other.  Now they have a child (well 2) and they can't make a trip to see us.  They haven't been up here since she got pgs.  We are always expected to be a the birthday parties and what not.  And we are not allowed to bring the dog.  BS that is my child!  At least this time we were given more than one week notice on when the baptism (or any event) is.  I feel obligated to go, but I am not sure I want to.  The baptism is in 3 weeks.

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"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows" - Helen Keller



DH (34) and me (33).  Been together since March 1994, Married in September 1999.  TTC since November 2001. 


DX:  Graves Disease->hypothyroidism and functional ovarian cysts or unexplained ovarian dystfunction.  BW: CD3 FSH 9.8, LH 3.4, estradial <10.  CD21 Progesterone: 9.9.  DH DX:  can seed an army.  Last SA was 70mil/mL with 60% motility.


Rx:  Femara/ovidrel/IUI, Acupuncture, TCM fertility diet and soon Reiki.
Suppliments: prenatals, EPO, baby asprin, fish oil

Currently: Yes!  I am finally cyst free. IUI cancelled due to disappearing follies. 

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/24ab45

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 10:04am
GIANT Hugs! First of all Terri, I can't believe she forgot your birthday, how rude and self-centered. Did your DH tell her when he talked to her? And then second of all, it is just not right for people to ditch friends when they have kids. She'll regret that at some point in her life and it will be too late. And if you aren't up to going, don't go! Especially if you can't bring your fur-baby, that gives you the perfect excuse. I personally don't think I could stand up at a baptism without losing it. I'd be a puddle and there is no reason to put yourself through that.

Kelly


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2009
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 10:28am

Oh my gosh Terri, HUGE HUGS


Is your SIL related to my sister? Seriously they sound similar.


You know, you have no obligation to go to this baptism, but I realize that it will be difficult to boycott with your DH being asked to stand up...ugh. I'm really sorry.
I h&p you can reach a peaceful decision in this difficult situation...I'm thinking of you and sending you some of my strength.
I'm almost speechless...almost
:)

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Faith (34) Matt (39) TTC since 1996!! It's a lot to outline, but the bottom line now is I have no fallopian tubes due to ectopics...only option is IVF.

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Faith (35) Matt (40)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 1:12pm

Wow, apparently we have the same sister in law.


We're not catholic so we don't have godparents.

After struggling with infertility, we welcomed our son Noah on March 18, 2010! Formerly a teacher, I am now a breastfeeding, babywearing, stay at home Mom, and I couldn't love it any more!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 3:14pm

Ohhh Pppooohhh on this! HUGS!!! This would get hard. I'm sorry......I really hope you get some good news soon! and then you can call them and ask them to be God parents,,,,,,,if that's what you want.


BTW- where are you with your cycle? and how are you? What's new?


I've been thinking of you! I was on chat for a few last night but couldn't stay too long. Anyway, have a great weekend!!! Hopefully you'll get gorgeous weather like we are getting!


Kitty

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Me-30, DH newly 34, diagnosed with PCOS in Nov/Dec 2008. 3 Failed cycles of Clomid. (50mg, 100mg, 150mg) Started working with RE Nov 26. Asked for & started M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 6:28pm

Ugh poor you. I hate self absorbed parents like that. Our in-laws are like that too, "oh, we can't, the kids" all the frigging time, GRRRRRRRRR.


((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))



AKA "Caro". 35 years old, Dh is 38; BFP in April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 12:43am
I agree with all the posts...and I am so happy to hear that people consider you and your hubbie such great people! It is unfortunate that your sister in law doesn't show her appreciation that well! My hubbie and I are also asked to be god parents often. In our tradition it is considered bad luck to decline the invitation so I have that added pressure to be present. I hope it all turns out well for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 1:50pm

Terri


SILs can be so mean and self absorbed! I know mine is VERY high on her

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 5:31pm

hi terri,

(((hugs))) what is it about people who feel so entitled? my SIL is like that. she acts like she has the hardest job in the world b/c she has 2 kids...and acts entitled to everything. i really hope it's your turn soon.

ana


TTC since Sept '06. Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07. IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze). IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07 (w/ fresh TESA), FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer). IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42). 1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 9:31am
Thanks Kelly.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 9:42am

LOL about our SILs.

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