don't know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
don't know what to do
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 3:06pm

DH and I just got back from the RE follow up appointment and I am so confused about what we should do...

the RE said that she would be hesitant to do another IVF is she were me b/c we only got three embies for IVF #1 (even with the max amount of meds).  She said we could also try DE's but on the other hand, we may be able to get a few good eggs again.  She said she would feel better if we were able to get five- which we might be able to get the 2nd time around... but no promises. 

So now what??!?!?  Do we try another IVF or go for DE's?  Financially this is killing us and we are now looking at refinancing the house-  DH really wants a biological child.  I don't care where the baby comes from or what the baby looks like.  I was hoping that the RE would say "No- don't do another IVF with your own eggs, use donor eggs" or "yes go ahead with your own eggs"...

I have been sitting at work just praying for God to help me make this choice-   



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 3:15pm

I understand, Melinda.

After struggling with infertility, we welcomed our son Noah on March 18, 2010! Formerly a teacher, I am now a breastfeeding, babywearing, stay at home Mom, and I couldn't love it any more!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 3:33pm


I don't know what I would do in your place.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 3:41pm


Man, tough decision. Only you and DH can make that decision, but if it were me I'd go for the DE I think. But that's just me, I would go were my odds seemed better. It's hard for the doctors because they wouldn't mind you doing another IVF with your eggs, they may not see how financially and mentally another cycle would be so hard.

Good Luck with your decision. Take your time and really talk it over.

Sending HUGS!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 3:55pm

I'm sorry you're facing this decision Melinda.

Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2008
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 4:08pm


The best advice I can give is "Listen to the Lord" he will answer your question and that is with your heart. Were you feel best is the decision you want to take talk it out cry it out scream it out but you WILL make the right choice for you and DH.

I pray that you find some peace and comfort in your journey just remember DO NOT GIVE UP:)



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 11:10am


I am so sorry for your BFN and that you have to go through the agony again of making a decision on what to do next.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 12:24pm

maria-round-2.jpg picture by mbullion
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 9:02pm

I'm so sorry about your dilemma! I'm sure this is going to be a really, really difficult decision for you, and I'm sorry I can't offer you sound advice. I've never had IVF or used DE, so I wouldn't really know what I'm talking about. But, I really hope that you come up with a solution that leads to your BFP. Good luck, and I'll be keeping you in my prayers.


Me- 30, DH- 31; TTC #1 since Nov. '07; No known FI issues; DH has borderline/low motility
First IUI on Apr. 25; DH count after concentration was 24 million w/ 79% motility and half of those were rapid swimmers === BFN