Oh, NO she's NOT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
Oh, NO she's NOT!
14
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 12:50pm

So what do you do when your little sister tells you that she just started trying? What do you say when she states that "everyone else is having kids, so why shouldn't I? And, what do you say to your brother-in-law when he says that if they have IF issues than he would never get tested b/c its not his problem?


Should 2 people be able to procreate who are so darn immature????


I am just soo mad. She knows we have been trying. It just sucks! And, knowing my luck, she will get pregnant this month!!!!!!!!!!!


 

Maria


Married to my other half July 24, 2004!


08/05-DX with MTHF (2 copies), 1/08-Unoffical DX of PCOS, 4/09-DH DX low Morphology, 7/09 Variocele surgery completed


Hoping that the variocele surgery works!


 


 

maria-round-2.jpg picture by mbullion

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 1:27pm

I would tell her that just because everyone else is having kids is not a reason to create another human life.


I would also tell her that it is the most important decision she will ever make in her life and not something decided on a whim.


As far as the BIL I wouldn't say anything to him but I would smack him upside his head(I'm kidding I think!). To be blunt, that was a stupid comment.


I would tell him TTC is something you do as a couple so one persons IF issues are both of yours (but then again we all know that already).


Unfortunately people like that procreate everday. I have a sister with children who is

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 1:42pm

Oh WOW!

*Mika*

Irregular AF my whole life, generally 1 or 2 per year

1/

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 2:25pm

Whoa! Where to begin with that one???

I'd like to be able to tell you what to say to all of that but my guess is she wouldn't listen anyway. It reminds me of those tv shows you see where they make people carry around a doll that cries and poops and they have to take of them the whole time as if it were real. Wonder if they have those that you could give one to your sister so she can see why you don't just jump into these things.

And the BIL, he definitely needs a smack upside the head as suggested earlier! A comment like that screams "I'm too immature to have children!".

Hugs Maria! I mostly hope they change their mind and wait, but if not I hope she isn't a first time success. That is just too hard to handle.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 2:30pm

Thanks Nat!


I totally agree with you......

Maria


Married to my other half July 24, 2004!


08/05-DX with MTHF (2 copies), 1/08-Unoffical DX of PCOS, 4/09-DH DX low Morphology, 7/09 Variocele surgery completed


Hoping that the variocele surgery works!


maria-round-2.jpg picture by mbullion
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 2:36pm

Mika,


I definitely hear you about the pure ignorance thing. He is really ignorant. I have migraine for almost three weeks, and we all were over by my parent's house this weekend and my mom asked my BIL to massage my neck/back. BIL is a physical therapist who always raves he's so wonderful. My headaches are also complicated by neck/back pain, so my mom thought I would feel better. So, after asking him three times (and all times he said no), BIL finally stated that if I come to the clinic that he works he would be happy to do it, and then he preceded to say that if I did come to the clinic at least he could get paid (b/c he would bill insurance). Needless to say, I did not get a massage. My sister said that he probably was kidding. REALLY?


Gosh, I am just frustrated........


Thanks for listening!

Maria


Married to my other half July 24, 2004!


08/05-DX with MTHF (2 copies), 1/08-Unoffical DX of PCOS, 4/09-DH DX low Morphology, 7/09 Variocele surgery completed


Hoping that the variocele surgery works!


maria-round-2.jpg picture by mbullion
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 2:45pm

Kelly,


I am totally up for giving her the doll. My BIL can't even take care of himself, let alone another human being! He is also very demeaning, and disrespects women. I think my sister is getting low self-esteem, b/c she just puts up (she is 4'11 and 170 lbs.). Then again, she always protects him and makes excuses it just makes me sick.


I also asked her about childcare, and she stated my mom would do it. They are having some financial difficulty, and don't have a lot of money. In a normal situation I would understand, but the BIL likes to spend tons of money on PSS/WII/XBOX, etc. He wastes tons of money, and I cant feel sorry for that. I was planning on having my mom watch the baby 1 day a week, but I highly doubt she would want to watch 2.


I hope that the first time is not successful. I would be livid. As if I am not already!

Maria


Married to my other half July 24, 2004!


08/05-DX with MTHF (2 copies), 1/08-Unoffical DX of PCOS, 4/09-DH DX low Morphology, 7/09 Variocele surgery completed


Hoping that the variocele surgery works!


maria-round-2.jpg picture by mbullion
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 4:20pm

Nat makes great points.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 4:57pm
It just keeps getting worse and worse. Totally not a situation where it's time for a baby. BIL needs more than a slap if he is treating her that way. What sucks the most is the more he beats her down the harder it would be for her to get out of the situation. She'll have no confidence left. Such a shame. I hope you can wake her up a little. Does your mother know about all of this? Particularly the part that she is going to be the caregiver for this potential child?

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 5:43pm
Ok seriously where does he live...I'll go

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 11:20pm
Oh man, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this Maria.


Photobucket

Pages