I don't think I want to know...:(
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|Tue, 09-29-2009 - 3:11pm|
So I am suppose to test this Thursday and I am starting to freak out and not feeling to good about the results. I am even thinking of not answering the phone and see what happens (lol). I don't think I can handle negative results and if they are I am hanging up my towel from TTC after 6+yrs of heartbrake and failure.
I have tried to stay sooo positive and not stress out. I know my body wennt through alot during this IVF convert and I tried not to read into any signs because of the OHSS and progestrone 3x a day so I know I am having some of those symptons and when I say to myself "oh this didn't work" I get a nasty feeling in my stomach as if it's my gut telling me "your right" (I haven't told anyone else that). I look at my babies everyday and even kiss my pic praying I am wrong and they STUCK AND GREW....I am very happy that AF hasn't shown because she always does either day of testing or a few days earlier and even though I have felt she is about to come she hasn't...(THANK GOD)
TMI: yesterday I had a lil and I mean lil light brown spot on my liner and of course I said here COMES EVIL and I just whiped and nothing more so I put my finger inside like if I was putting in the progestrone and nothing no light pink and no more very light brown so I thought ok maybe I discharged a bit heavy but IDK what to think nothing has come since and again I THANK GOD!!!!
I don't know how we will handle the down fall and how I will be able to move on but thanks for listening to me vent...