Stressing myself out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Stressing myself out!
10
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 11:29am

I am just driving myself crazy. Last fall, during a routine u/s to check on follicle growth during a Clomid cycle, they found an ovarian cyst (endometrioma) and the RE thinks I may have endometriosis. She suggested a lap to confirm the diagnosis. I didn’t want to do it then and she seemed pretty OK with my decision. I have since been thinking about it non-stop and now, after another unsuccessful cycle, am leaning towards doing the lap. And of course, DH comes home with a story from a friend that they had IF for 2 years, 3 losses, and after a lap to remove mild endo they are now 16 wks p/g and everything is going fine. I know I should have the lap just to ease my mind about what is going on. Because I could have really bad endo, and so we should start thinking about IVF, or it could be mild and removing some of it could help our odds to conceive naturally. I am so scared about it though. I am not usually someone that worries a lot or thinks about the worst case scenario. I guess this whole IF, and TTCAM, journey has made me think of the worst. Just thinking about calling the RE to talk about the lap again and get it scheduled has me feeling sick to my stomach. I hate this! L Not sure where my fear and apprehension is coming from, I guess some small part of me thinks that we got p/g on our own and it should be happening again. I am so frustrated not being able to figure out how to make it happen, but seems like TTC isn’t at all a rational or logical process.


At least if I have the lap I would get off work for awhile, that is a plus side!


Thanks for listening. I am sitting at work thinking about this and just driving myself crazy. No one around work really knows about this and so I am just stewing on it all alone...



Kathleen - TTC #1 since September 2006 (Me - 31, DH - 32). Always remembering our 3 angels.


January 2008 - Chemical P/G, April 2008 - M/C at about 7 weeks, June 2008 - Blighted Ovum


May 2009 - diagnosed Low Protein S and Hetero MTHFR - Baby aspirin, Lovenex injections once BFP. Recently found some ovarian cysts, suspected Endo. FONT>


July 2009 - 1st round 100mg Clomid and IUI = BFN, August 2009 - 2nd round 100mg Clomid  = BFN, Sept through ??? - taking a break and going all natural including Vitex and Progesterone cream


     

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 8:32am
Good Luck many P&PT for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 6:36pm

Just talked with the RE. She said that the presence of an endometrioma on an u/s most likely means I already have stage 3 endo. She didn't tell me that before...She thinks I am making a good decision to do the lap and it will confirm that the cyst is just endo and not something worse, and give us an overall better picture of the cause of our IF. Looking at either Feb 9th or 16th. Happy Valentine's days to me...


Now this will be some extra special BDing this month because if we can get a BFP then no surgery! :)



Kathleen - TTC #1 since September 2006 (Me - 31, DH - 32). Always remembering our 3 angels.


January 2008 - Chemical P/G, April 2008 - M/C at about 7 weeks, June 2008 - Blighted Ovum


May 2009 - diagnosed Low Protein S and Hetero MTHFR - Baby aspirin, Lovenex

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 3:53pm
KUP! It sounds like you are more secure in your decision today!

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 2:33pm

Thank you so much for the words of support and advice. I am still waiting on the RE to call me back...and waiting impatiently! I am ready to move forward with the lap so depending on her thoughts I think it will happen. She never really talked about how removing any of the endo (if that is what they find) could improve our IF so I need to get a better understanding on her position regarding that.


I just counted it up. 14 active cycles (including 2 Clomid) since the last m/c. We need to make some decisions about next steps soon anyway because I think my "wait and see" philosophy isn't going to be able to last much longer. Hopefully the lap gives us some good answers on whether we can keep going or need to look seriously at IVF. Oh yeah, RE already told me that most likely wouldn't do injectibles since I get the ovarian cysts. So

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 7:23pm

I do not have any experiences to share, but I wanted to wish you the best in your decision making on what to do moving forward!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 5:52pm
Oh Kathleen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 1:51pm
Hugs Kathleen!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 12:02pm

Kathleen,


Big hugs to you.

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 12:00pm

Hugs Kathleen, I'm sorry you're stressing yourself out! and while at work to boot!

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Faith (35) Matt (40)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 11:48am

Hugs Kathleen! No wonder it stresses you out, I would feel the same way in trying to decide whether or not to have surgery. Try and take a deep breath and take some time with your DH to discuss it, and your doc of course:)

Maybe if you do have the lap it would help take away the questions of "what if"? I can see where it would be tempting to want to know!

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/