People are so insensitive
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|Wed, 01-20-2010 - 7:29pm|
Perhaps this is all coming from the fact that I've shifted emotionally from being sad to angry, but so many people make me angry about how insensitive they can be when they know you want a kid but obviously don't have one.
The latest example that annoyed me: There's a small corner store that my husband and I walk to every so often for about the past year and half. There's one lady always there that we'll talk to. Last winter (before my husband got laid off and right before we started trying) we mentioned that we would like to find a house to buy and have kids soon. We haven't been there since sometime early fall because it's been cold and rainy. We walked in the other day and the first thing she said is "Not pregnant yet! It's NOT HARD to get pregnant!" Why would you say that to someone who two only two possibilities are that they either have difficulty getting pregnant or have changed their minds?
Then I have a friend who I see twice a week who started trying when we did and is due in March. I've told her numerous times about how frustrating and sad it makes me to not get pregnant. However, she insists telling every detail about how fun it is to feel and see the baby move, how he jumped when her mom talked to him, all the baby stuff they bought, the stuff she wants to do with her baby, her birthing classes, etc... and gave me a Christmas picture highlighting her pregnant belly. I don't mind just being around pregnant women too much, but it really bugs when they talk about it. Why does it not occur to her that it might bother me and perhaps she should scale back how much she shares around me? I understand it's her first and she's excited but still - save all the details for someone else.
Lastly, I have a friend (who had PCOS and took Clomid to get pregnant the first time) who also has a degree in social work/psyc and knows we're not exactly rich ask if we would just consider adopting when I tried to explain my sadness. As if that's even an option right now! I can't afford basic infertility testing let alone adoption. You would think someone who was previously had issues getting pregnant would be more sensitive. Plus everyone tosses out the adoption thing like it's an easy solution. Just go down to Walmart and buy a kid - that will solve your problem!
Grrr. I just feel like the world doesn't understand. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.