feeling left out

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2009
feeling left out
11
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 3:45pm

I'm sorry to come here with sad posts, but I am just feeling so like crap.  My DH was just in town for a week, which was great, but I just want a baby so bad.  I was late for AF this weekend so I POAS, but of course it was a BFN.  I was even nauseated and had tender BBs.  I guess my body is playing tricks on me.  Now I just wish AF would come so I can start on my next cycle.  I know we all feel this way, but I just feel like I am the only one without a baby and each day is just valuable time slipping away.  Sometimes I just get so angry.  And I just wish I could go one day without thinking about TTC.  Every morning I wake up and it is the first thing on my mind.  I just wish I could go back to one year ago when I was just starting infertility tx and was so naive and hopeful.  And wish that baby would have stuck and I would have a 4 month old boy to share with my new nephew.  I wish I could be more optimistic and live in the moment and be thankful for what I have.  I wish I had a baby. This journey has made me crazy.  Thanks for listening.


Carey

Me(32), DH(34) TTC since July 2008.  Dx PCOS

January 2009:  letrozole, HCG, timed BD BFP, M/C 12 weeks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 4:12pm
Oh Carey, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. But believe me, you are not alone. I feel like that on a weekly and sometimes daily basis too. This board has been such an emotional life saver as no one in my real life has gone through these problems. It's so much more emotional than anyone can imagine. Sometimes I feel so angry that it is so easy for EVERYONE else I know to get pregnant...it just isn't fair. But...such is life. Hopefully our frustrations will end soon.

-Jamie


Me 33, DH 36. TTC since November 2007. Possible miscarriage in January of 2008 (too early for BFP, but all symptoms point to miscarriage). Normal SA in Feb 2009. HSG showed large (50% of uterus) fundal fibroid in Feb 2009. Hysteroscopically removed in March 2009. Tried to concieve naturally until August. Repeat HSG was normal. Currently on 4th month of Clomid...never had a BFP. Will begin IUI in February (hopefully).

-Jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 9:58pm

Carey, please don't apologize. I'm sure none of us can imagine going through infertility without having our husbands by our sides (except the military wives). It has to make the journey even worse. I hope by coming here you can feel like you have

 Lori


 


DH and I are 33yrs old. TTC #1 since May08| July09- Dx POF|  Aug09- started Premarin, Metformin, and Lupron

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 8:48am

Hugs Carey! Definitely don't apologize for a sad post, that's the great thing about this board, you can vent, cry, and you will always find an understanding shoulder.

This is so hard, probably the hardest thing I've ever dealt with and I've definitely had those times where the only thing that enters my head is something related to ttc. And then to have babies all around you just makes it so much harder. Please know we are here for you anytime you need someone!

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 1:41pm

(((Big Hugs))) Carey.

~Christine~


TTC since 6/2007. 
IVF #1 Jan 2009 - BFN
IVF# 2  April 2009 - BFN
IVF# 3 July

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2009
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 2:22pm

Thanks everyone.

Me(32), DH(34) TTC since July 2008.  Dx PCOS

January 2009:  letrozole, HCG, timed BD BFP, M/C 12 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 8:05pm

Hi Carey,


I'm sorry you had such a rough day.

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 11:44pm

((Hugs)) Carey, I'm glad that you are feeling better, although I'm sorry you were feeling so crappy.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2009
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 10:18am

Thanks Grace.

Me(32), DH(34) TTC since July 2008.  Dx PCOS

January 2009:  letrozole, HCG, timed BD BFP, M/C 12 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 6:43pm

Carey,


Sorry to hear there will be another person around who's expecting.

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Fri, 02-19-2010 - 5:18pm


Carey, I'm so sorry you had to go through a similar loss and test result. Even though I know it doesn't make the loss hurt less, it's good to hear that your results also suggest that it shouldn't happen again. I did find comfort in finding that out and have felt more relieved to move forward with another cycle.

My first AF since the D&C arrived today!! I'm happy because I had felt "after trigger shot" aches (which is the first time I've felt that without a treatment cycle) two Wednesdays ago and because of them tested and got a +opk. I have an u/s on Monday to see about starting BCPs for our next IVF.

((Hugs)) to you about one of your nurses telling you she's pg. I'm glad that she understood though and didn't take it the wrong way.

Hoping for your BFP with your upcoming IUI!!

Me (30), DH (30)


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