I Give Up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
I Give Up!
12
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 6:58pm

I am so frustrated. I went in for IUI#9 today, and it looks like this one will be a big bust. DH's issues were worse today... His motility was in the teens. I really don't know why we keep doing IUI's since I know before I ever put forth the effort that it is not going to work. They are completely covered by my insurance, and I guess we just keep hoping we'll get lucky.

I cried when I was told the result, and I HATE crying in front of people. I just feel so alone in all of this and I miss not having my mom to talk to. I feel upset that I have to tell DH when he gets home from work because I know it makes him feel awful, but the other side of me is angry at him for not consistently taking his vitamins or losing some weight as the doctor recommended. I don't even know if these things would really help, but they were our only options.

Anyway, I'm just upset that after all the time and effort and pain we've put into this, it still looks like we're on the road to an expensive IVF... To be honest, if I was sure it would work, the cost wouldn't stop us. But the fact that it's not a guarantee is so daunting.

Thanks for listening... it's been a bad day.

~~~

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Me- 31, DH- 31; TTC #1 since Nov. '07; No known FI issues; DH has borderline/low motility
IUI #1 on Apr. 25--BFN; IUI #2 on May 22-- BFN; IUI#3 on June 19--BFN; IUI#4 on July 17--BFN; IUI#5 on Aug. 12--BFN; IUI#6 (clomid/menopur combo, 3 follicles) on October 20-- BFN; November cycle canceled due to cyst; IUI#7 December 11 (Menopur, possibly two follicles)BFN; IUI#8 January 5 (Menopur, three follies)BFN


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ttc first

baby
happily married

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: stephany2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 7:13pm

Oh Stephany, I was actually just thinking of you this moment and wondering how your IUI went today.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
In reply to: stephany2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 8:30pm

Grace,

Thank you so much for your support. I often think of you and what you've been through when I feel like I just can't take this anymore. Even though I don't know you IRL, I do feel like I get some strength from you and your positive energy. If you can keep going, then I can, too. KWIM?
This has been a hard day and I've been crying or sleeping for most of it... thank goodness I got a sub for the whole day instead of just the morning like usual! I think I'm more upset than usual b/c this is it as far as IUI's go. I feel like we've failed. Now I'm on my second glass of wine and awaiting DH's arrival home. I should probably eat something or I'm going to be completely inebriated by the time he gets here! LOL....

I see you've started your BCP's for the next cycle. I am truly praying that this cycle will work for you. Did you have any frozen after the last cycle? I'm sure I'll have lots of questions for you in the coming months. I have an IVF consult on March 12, and I think we'll wait until I'm on summer vacation to begin.

Take Care.

~~~~

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Me- 31, DH- 31; TTC #1 since Nov. '07; No known FI issues; DH has borderline/low motility
IUI #1 on Apr. 25--BFN; IUI #2 on May 22-- BFN; IUI#3 on June 19--BFN; IUI#4 on July 17--BFN; IUI#5 on Aug. 12--BFN; IUI#6 (clomid/menopur combo, 3 follicles) on October 20-- BFN; November cycle canceled due to cyst; IUI#7 December 11 (Menopur, possibly two follicles)BFN; IUI#8 January 5 (Menopur, three follies)BFN


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ttc first

baby
happily married
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: stephany2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 9:43pm

You're so very sweet Stephany. :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
In reply to: stephany2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 9:56pm
Oh Stephany, I'm sorry things went so poorly today.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
In reply to: stephany2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 8:16am
I'm so sorry Stephany. It is so frustrating going in to something having no confidence that it can work. And I definitely understand the concern of jumping into an expensive tx without a guarantee of it working. That is probably the hardest part. Like you said, we'd be thrilled to spend the money if we knew for sure we'd get a baby. I wish I could win the lottery to fund everyone's treatments and just wipe that stress away. Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm thinking of you and hoping that you have a good outcome despite the low motility.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
In reply to: stephany2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 8:51am

Stephany,


I am so very sorry that things didn't go well with your IUI today.


I know what you mean about being

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
In reply to: stephany2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 10:20am
Stephany, I'm really sorry to hear that things went so poorly for your IUI.

~Christine~


TTC since 6/2007. 
IVF #1 Jan 2009 - BFN
IVF# 2  April 2009 - BFN
IVF# 3 July

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
In reply to: stephany2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 11:38am

Stephany,

(((BIGHUGS))) I'm so sorry to hear about your IUI. IF is already difficult and not having anybody to talk to makes it even more so. I do agree with you that IVF is so expensive and not guaranteed. My DH wants me to try acupuncture and see a Chinese herbalist first as he has heard some success stories.

I'm hoping and praying that you will find something that works out for you.

Lilly

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
In reply to: stephany2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 4:25pm

Oh shoot.

After struggling with infertility, we welcomed our son Noah on March 18, 2010! Formerly a teacher, I am now a breastfeeding, babywearing, stay at home Mom, and I couldn't love it any more!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
In reply to: stephany2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 5:51pm

Stephany, I hope you're feeling a little better today. Sorry to hear that yesterday had you

 Lori


 


DH and I are 33yrs old. TTC #1 since May08| July09- Dx POF|  Aug09- started Premarin, Metformin, and Lupron

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