costs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2008
costs
9
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 9:10am

Hi Ladies,


 


Sorry in advance for the enormous post, but I just needed to vent. I’ll feel better in no time, but, right now, I need to get this off my chest.


I just received a letter from the insurance company saying they won’t cover the genetic testing for DH because this is a pre-existing condition. I already knew they wouldn’t cover the really expensive stuff like TESE and ICSI (for which we’ll probably have to take out a loan), but I was hoping to at least have some help with this first part (which isn’t so cheap either). It depresses me to think of telling DH that we’re going to have to shell out hundreds of euros for this.


We don’t earn a lot of money, don’t own a home, hardly ever eat out or travel and it’s depressing to pay so much for something you have to do. The alternative would be to try the public system, where you wait 4 to 6 months for test results and the waiting list for an ER appt. is of several years (and, after you reach 38, you’re no longer eligible for ART).


I never felt the typical IF jealousy I read so much about. It genuinely doesn’t bother me to be around kids or pregnant ladies in general, because it’s no one’s fault we’re IF. Money, on the other hand, and its unfair distribution, really upsets me, because it is someone’s fault. It pisses me off that people who could easily afford treatment don’t need it and vice-versa. I’m not wishing IF on anyone, just saying it sucks even more when it happens to someone with less income.


We earn far less than most of my co-workers and their spouses. One of them is expecting her 2nd in May and is having her US today. Another brought her 5 year old to work today, dressed in the uniform of a school whose tuition costs half my net salary. Another one has 4 children all at schools of a similar cost and a live-in maid (yes, you read correctly - a Brazilian maid who lives in their backyard - and yes we are in the year 2010).


I try to stay positive and remind myself that we’ve always been happy, regardless of money, but there are times when it would definitely help.


Then again, what do I know? Maybe they also went through IF and never told anyone or have other issues in their lives. Still doesn’t make breaking the news to DH any easier.


Jealousy is such a pointless emotion. I hate sounding petty and judgmental, I really like my co-workers, but these thoughts just come sometimes.


Thanks for listening


Ana


 

 


 


ttc our 1st  poas2  baby_dust

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 9:40am
Hugs Ana, how very frustrating! Money is definitely one thing that just sucks to be a part of IF treatments or testing and I wish it wasn't.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 10:34am


Ana, vent away! It's so incredibly frustrating that money has to be such a big factor for all of us TTC with IF. You're right, it shouldn't have to be that way, especially when we want a child so much. :(

Me (30), DH (30)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 12:49pm

I'm really sorry, Ana.

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2008
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 3:01pm

Thank you so much, ladies!


It's so nice to have someone to talk to who really gets it. Plus, it makes me act a lot calmer and more positive around DH!


It sucks to pay this much, but it feels so good to finally get to the bottom of this, one way or another!


Kelly - Hope that fighting bean is growing stronger by the minute!


Grace - How did your scan go today?


Andrea - Hope your journey to parenthood is as short, inexpensive and pain-free as possible!


Thanks again


Ana

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 4:49pm

My scan went well yesterday and today, thanks for asking. :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2008
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 6:38am

Hi Grace!


Your weekend sounded very fun! Mine was too - had a great run Saturday morning with my brother around our neighborhood. The weather was gorgeous! His MIL is visting from Barcelona and we had them all over for dinner yesterday. Rafael made roast lamb (MMMM) and I made dessert (something very typical, with almonds, sugar and egg yolks galore!). The company was great!


As for you: Grow follies grow! I hope this time your eggs are so mature they smoke miniature pipes and have published Philosophy treaties - LOL!


Thanks for KMP!


Go follies!!!


Ana

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 11:04pm

I totally understand your frustration.

Tamar

TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2008
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 2:15pm

Thanks for the support!


It’s really sweet of your parents to help out that way!


Hope the rest of your journey is as short, painless and inexpensive as possible!


Ana

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: anamrdecarvalho
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 8:11pm

Ana, your weekend certainly did sound nice, especially the gorgeous weather and yummy dinner and dessert!


LOL on my eggs being so mature that they smoke mininature pipes and have published Philosophy treaties.


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