don't know why I'm so sad today

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
don't know why I'm so sad today
5
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 9:50pm

Today I've been so sad and discouraged about our infertility and thinking that we'll never beat the odds.  I don't know why today in particular I feel this way and I feel all out of sorts.  I'm always a little sad during the month when I think about it, but usually the only time I get extremely sad and disappointed when AF shows and my hormones crash (or someone announces they're pg).  I just had my IUI on Fri and I was happy then because everything went ok and DH's numbers were even way better than I was expecting based on his previous SA (we had 44 million sperm post wash).  I don't know if this is lingering side effects from the trigger shot or what's up.  All I know is I'm sad and don't feel normal.


Tamar

Tamar

TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 8:13pm

((Big Hug))


I get those days too, especially before I found this board. There would be days where I would be driving home from work and all of a sudden start sobbing in the car for no real reason.


I work as a hospice nurse and so I tend to see a lot of loss and grief. I compare what we are going through to what my familes are. Even if you have not had the loss of a m/c you still have a loss. A loss of the ability to "just get pg". So many people around us are able to do it only 2 months after stopping bc or even while on it! We are suffering the loss of not being able to do it like we were told it always would happen.


For my families the grief of loss can hit like a train. You can be fine for days or weeks and then suddenly it hits you like a train. The pain is so real it feels like it just happened. I tell them those days to hug each other and let the pain come, it is ok to be sad.

Dixie


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 50mg April 2010 = no O :-(


Clomid #2 100mg May 2010 = BFN


Clomid #3 150mg July 2010


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Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 12:14pm


I'm so sorry you are down right now- my worst part of the cycle is about 5-8 DPO, when I know nothing, absolutely nothing, is in my control and I start thinking about how I could have had one more BD or used more or less pre-seed or whatever. I just really hope you get your BFP this cycle and that eventually, the sadness and disappointment of all that you've gone through will fade into the background. On my lowest days, I imagine how I'll feel when I get a BFP, see a heartbeat, and hold my baby and remind myself that the sadness and stress will hopefully result in those glorious moments.

Hugs to you, and hang in there!

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 10:48am

Tamar,


I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad and discouraged.

Kelly (31) DH (32) TTC Since June 2009 August 2007 - Myomectomy - removed large fibroid on back of uterus January 2010 - HSG reveals "possible" blocked left tube March 2010 - First RE visit (PCOS secondary to CAH diagnosed) April 2010 - October 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 10:37am

Hang in there Tamar -


Maybe you are sad because you might be scared that after having the IUI - all you can do is wait and hope for a BFP.....it is out of your control now.


Or maybe - you just want to crawl back into bed and sleep until the next day comes.....that's the sadness I feel sometimes.


I hope these down feelings pass soon ....try having positive thoughts that the little swimmers are cathing an eggie..........


((((((hugs))))))


Monica


Me: 37, DH: 41


TTC for 5 years . 1 Ectopic PG at 8 weeks;

Me: 39, DH: 43


TTC for 5 years . 1 Ectopic PG at 8 wee

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 4:33am

Sometimes the

***TTC since 2005. *In fertility treatments since 2007. *Clomid tx's X 4 with 3 of them BFN and 1 that I had 2 false BFP's before the official BFN. * 2009- IUI X3 with all 3 BFN's. *2010- 2 IVF's with both BFN's. * Taking break to pay off IVF bills unti