Will it ever be me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Will it ever be me?
8
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 10:13am


I've had my regular pre-AF symptoms the last couple of days and I think she'll arrive tomorrow or Thursday. That means another failed cycle and an upcoming cycle on hold since DP will be on the other side of the country. I am getting extremely depressed and somewhat frantic feeling like maybe I won't ever get pregnant. I carry a sad feeling with me all the time, like I can't shake a feeling of dread. I hate TTC.

Andrea

 

 

baby 1 

Thanks to Chrissy over at SMFB for my AMAZING siggy!

 

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 11:35am

Andrea,


I am sorry that you are feeling this way and AF is lurking around the corner. Have you taking a HPT? I know that pregnancy symptoms mimic AF symptoms. I know that each month we go through gets harder and harder. Keep your chin up and know there is a wonderful amount of support here that will get you through. I know personally I would not be able to keep going without this support. All of the ladies are an inspiration to me.

Me ~ 31

Me ~ 31  DH ~ 33  TTC #1 since August 2002. Dealing with mild Endo, PCOS, D

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 1:44pm

Andrea,
I understand exactly how you feel. When DH and I started on this journey, we were so naive and just thought it would happen exactly when we wanted it to happen. Now, I'm not sure it will ever really happen. Then what? It is sad how all-consuming IF is... I am not the same person I was three years ago, but I know that it will all be worth it if we are blessed with a baby.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down, but remember it's not really over until AF rears her ugly head. I'll keep everything crossed that she never does.

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Me- 32, DH- 32
TTC #1 since Nov. '07; No known FI issues; DH has borderline/low motility, low morph

IUI #1 on Apr. 25--BFN


IUI #2 on May 22-- BFN


IUI#3 on June 19--BFN


IUI#4 on July 17--BFN


IUI#5 on Aug. 12--BFN


IUI#6 (clomid/menopur combo, 3 follicles) on October 20-- BFN


November cycle canceled due to cyst


IUI#7 December 11 (Menopur, possibly two follicles)BFN


IUI#8 January 5 (Menopur, three follies)BFN


Sat out the January cycle


IUI #9 February 24 (Menopur, three follies) BFN
IUI#10 May 14 BFN


On to IVF July '10

June 29-- Start Microdose Lupron (20 units AM/PM)

July 1- Start Stims (225 Gonal F AM, 3 vials Menopur PM)



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ttc first

baby
happily married
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 1:51pm

Andrea - I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated.


Me: 39, DH: 43


TTC for 5 years . 1 Ectopic PG at 8 wee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 7:55pm

Andrea,


I am so sorry to hear you think AF is coming. Hopefully it is just pregnancy symptoms like the other girls said. It sucks because every day I think I am ok with this something else happens.

Dixie


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 50mg April 2010 = no O :-(


Clomid #2 100mg May 2010 = BFN


Clomid #3 150mg July 2010


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Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 11:38pm

I'm so sorry you're feeling down and AF might be showing soon.

Tamar

TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 7:25pm

Andrea,


I am sorry that you are feeling so sad and that you carry this sadness around with you.

Kelly (31) DH (32) TTC Since June 2009 August 2007 - Myomectomy - removed large fibroid on back of uterus January 2010 - HSG reveals "possible" blocked left tube March 2010 - First RE visit (PCOS secondary to CAH diagnosed) April 2010 - October 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 12:53pm


Thanks everyone, for the words of encouragement and sympathy. I know most of you have been in your TTC journeys much longer than I have and have shed more tears, more emotional energy, more physical efforts, and more money than I have, so it means a lot to me that you are willing to offer such heartfelt support. Every passing cycle makes me sink deeper into despair that my journey will be harder and longer than I ever expected, or worse, never fulfilled.

AF just arrived, as expected based on my temps. Interesting that I O'ed 10 days late, but maintained my steady 14 day LP. At least I don't have to worry about a bad LP! I won't get to try this cycle because my DP is away on a long trip way too far to drive to, so I guess I will try to make the most of an off cycle, as much as I hate it. Losing some of the TTC-induced depression weight, drinking a couple of margaritas in celebration of summer, and not over-monitoring and over-analyzing every little twinge, fluid, or temp are a few things to look forward to at least. I believe my next cycle will involve a low dose of Clomid, so maybe that will make my next try my BFP cycle.

Thanks again ladies- I really do appreciate all of your support.

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 9:30pm

((Hugs)) Andrea, I'm sorry AF arrived. :(


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