The last ones...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2010
The last ones...
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 4:52pm

So, last weekend, my husband's best friend called to tell him that he and his wife are expecting...They had been trying for about a year, so I know that it has not been an easy road for them either.  I thought that I did really well dealing with the news.  (I think that it helped that I kind of guessed that they were pregnant before they told us, so I had mentally prepared myself for the news.)  I called them both to congratulate them, and I surprised myself by not crying at all after hearing the news, as I have cried almost everytime someone else has told me that they are pregnant.  

Well, my great handling of the newest pregnancy announcement lasted until today.  On his way home from work, my husband called to tell me that his best friend and his wife are coming over tonight to visit.  This is a totally unexpected visit, and I was completely thrown off by it.  So, as I run around the house trying to clean up the house and prepare for guests, I am crying thinking about how I am going to face our friends.  I love them both, and I am truly happy for them, but I just don't know if I am ready to face them in person and I don't know what we are going to talk about.  I know that the subject of babies will inevitably come up, and I have been trying so hard this month (on our forced month off) not to think about or stress over this IF stuff.   So much for that.

I think that the hardest part for me is the fact that my husband and I are now the only ones in our circle of friends who do not have a newborn or are not pregnant, and we were among the first couples to start TTC.  It hurts to watch each new couple making their announcement and to know that it has not happened for us. 

Sorry to ramble on, I just needed to get this off my chest...I know that the visit will probably go well, but I just am nervous.  How do I hide my hurt when they are so excited???  I feel so selfish, but it truly is hard for me, even though I really am happy for them.   

Kelly (31) DH (32) TTC Since June 2009 August 2007 - Myomectomy - removed large fibroid on back of uterus January 2010 - HSG reveals "possible" blocked left tube March 2010 - First RE visit (PCOS secondary to CAH diagnosed) April 2010 - October 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 7:32pm

((Big Hug)) I am sorry that you had to listen to another person announce a pregnancy. I always think it will be easy the next time and that is never the case.

Sometimes I find to just let people know. If your friends already you were having trouble sometimes saying "I am happy for you but just having a tough time" is nice. If they don't know maybe just saying you are happy for them but having a bad day would help it so they do not harp on it.

Good luck and hopefully the visit will not make you too sad. And do not worrying about venting here, that is what we are here for.


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

M/C November 2009

Metformin December 2009

Clomid #1 50mg April 2010 = no O :-(

Clomid #2 100mg May 2010 = BFN

Clomid #3 150mg July 2010





"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 8:31pm

Ugh- that is so hard to deal with, and especially having an unexpected visit. I am surrounded by pregnancies and newborns, and the only way I survive is by mentally and emotionally preparing myself to see them. The fact that you don't have that time stinks.

I'm so sorry you are sad and that you have to play happy hostess tonight. I hope it goes okay. Big hugs to you.


Lilypie Maternity tickers

May Baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 12:13am

Big hugs. I know this was a few nights ago, I hope it went well.

***TTC since 2005. *In fertility treatments since 2007. *Clomid tx's X 4 with 3 of them BFN and 1 that I had 2 false BFP's before the official BFN. * 2009- IUI X3 with all 3 BFN's. *2010- 2 IVF's with both BFN's. * Taking break to pay off IVF bills unti
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 4:33pm

I'm so sorry you have to deal with another friend's pregnancy.


TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2010
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 8:34pm
Totally feel your pain we have been at it for two years now and this month will mark the 4th baby shower that i would have to attend. The first one was for a dear friend that I worked with she was trying to get preg for a year and a half but her first iui worked i was happy for her but still hurt. Then the next was just family members. The hardest one is my sister in law who i love dearly but just thinking about baby shoping for the two last ones kills me. I hope all works out for the best sometimes you just need to find a shoulder to cry on after the visits.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2009
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 3:43pm

Just now reading your post... how did it go?

Finally pregnant after 3 yrs of ttc and 3 losses. Lilypie Pregnancy tickers EDD: 9/18/11