Feeling really down
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|Fri, 09-03-2010 - 9:18am|
Yesterday I hit my breaking point. I have been trying to hold up so well and act like I am ok but I am not ok. I am emotionally and financially drained. My bills are stacking up and just learning I have to fork out the full 5000 for my FET just sent me spiraling down yesterday. I am stressing over my FET that is in a few weeks. I canâ€™t help but think it will not work and then how am I going to get another 5000 for another round. I see pregnant women all the time and people at work talking about their new grandbabies or the 6 babies that have been born in my department recently. I am not sure how much longer I can put myself through this. My family is states away and just do not understand my feelings with my fertility. I do not expect them to but I cannot hear it will happen or just have faith anymore. It is so depressing to watch thousands of dollars fly out of my savings and I have nothing to show for it. I canâ€™t help but wonder why I was chosen to go through this. I am a good mom and a loving person and just want to add to my family. I feel like life is passing me by as I sit in this hell of infertility.
Thank you so much for listening. I feel only the women on this board can relate to the struggles and emotions that I am feeling right now.
Me ~ 31 DH ~ 33 TTC #1 since August 2002. Dealing with mild Endo, PCOS, Diabetes, and MFI.
DD ~ 5/97 previous marriage
2 rounds of Clomid 2004 â€“ BFN
First RE consult 2008 but was not the right time financially.
IUI #1 with Bravelle 2/10 â€“ BFN
IUI #2 with Bravelle 3/10 â€“ canceled do to low response. Timed BD = BFN
IVF #1 July 2010 ~ 30 Eggs retrieved and 23 frozen. OHSS so no transfer. :(
FET #1 1st week Oct 2010