Is there anything I can do?
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Is there anything I can do?
| Tue, 05-04-2004 - 5:33pm |
Ugh, I think my friend and I are at our wit's ends. My friend (1) has a twin sister (2)and we've all be friends for 15 years. 2 got out of a serious relationship, moved to another state, met a man, fell in "love", slept with him a lot, he ditched her. Since then, her self esteem has plummeted. She moved back here has gone off all BC and doesn't use condoms anymore. She sleeps around and uses men as her personal self esteem enhancers. She came back and shortly got back together with her ex, dumped him, found another guy, went to visit him, slept with him, came back, slept with ex, got together with another guy, did things with him, got to gether with ex, another guy, ex, another guy, ex. (the ex I'm referring to is the one from here who she dumped). Keeps going on. We all harass her about getting on BC. One night she had a guy over, slept with him without protection, even though she had condoms in her bedstand!!! Now, I had a friend over and I told her that 2 hooked up with a mutual acquaintance and she's like "Oh God, he slept with Herpes girl!" I'm like "What?" Apparently he slept with a girl that she knows and this girl has herpes (was confirmed by this girls family). She knows he slept with her because the girl was staying at her residence, and he did too - for a few nights. Anyhow, I called my friend right away to warn her, but sure enough, she already slept with him - no protection. HOW STUPID CAN SHE BE?? She ALWAYS freaks out at the possiblity of beign pregnant, but she won't go back on birth control (she had been on depo with no side effects for 3 years. Never gave a reason for going off). It's like, she doesn't think she can get a disease, yet our city's STD population is steadily increasing to a very high number. Plus, two of these guys were fresh out of the military (well, one was home for a week period from Iraq) and I don't mean to offend anyone or make generalizations, but a lot of single young Army men get around - they'll sleep with anything (again, not all, but you know what I mean). I mean, my BIL a very respected man, an Officer in the Army has a daughter he met only a couple of times. He's now married and settled. And, for the most part, she knows this!! She told me she asked him if she slept with anyone lately, and he said "not in three months" so she believes that. WHAT?? Okay, he's only been back here for about three months.
Anyhow, I'm just babbling on and on. Is there anything I can do to help her? Should we just butt out and figure if she gets a disease, it's her own d**n fault for not being more careful? I mean, some people get an STD from a one time thing - she's been playing with fire for quite a while.
Please help.

Hi Jamie,
First off, kudos to you - she's really lucky to have a friend who cares.
Hi, and thank you for your very kind reply. I'm much more calm and composed now.
I really like the idea of the girl's weekend out intervention - it's ironic though that you said no clubs or anything. Last week we went fishing - fishing! and she managed to meet the latest victim there - in
"Maybe if she sees how far we're willing to go to help her, she may try to help herself."
I think you're absolutely right....just knowing that she's really loved may make all the difference in the long run.