have i done the 'responsible' thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
have i done the 'responsible' thing
3
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 2:35am
Ive been seeing this guy for a while. We agreed we didnt want a committed relationship but he just wanted to be casual. Basically casual sex and fun. We are very good friends and talk about everything. Hes very honest and open about things and i really feel i can trust him. He knows how many partners ive been with and vice versa. He said to me the other day 'do you want me to continue using condoms' i said 'if you are sleeping with other people thats fine but you HAVE to use a condom with me but if i am the only person that you are sleeping with and you know for a fact you are clean then dont' He didnt. Do you think that was wise? obviously its a little a late but I feel it was the right thing to do and he is a very responsible, trustworthy guy. So what are your thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 3:16pm
It sounds like you did an ok thing. It sounds like you had a good talk with him about it, and if he is trustworthy like you said, then I think it's okay. As long as you're being protected in other ways, and he says that he is clean, and only having sex with you. That's just my two cents.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 12:55am
i feel that it was good that the two of u discussed this, but now that he has not used a condom, ur risking chances of pregnancy, and since its just casual sex, i dont think u really want that....plus, if he continues to have other partners, or does have them in the future, he could contract something and give it to u before he realizes what he has. In my opinion, i think its important to have at least 2 protections like birth control and a condom, and since its just Sex and Fun, i suggest u use condoms to prevent anything u might regret later....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 9:15pm
It sounds good, but there's no way for him to know for a fact whether or not he's "clean."

Let's pretend that he gets tested regularly or that he's been tested recently. That will rule out gonorrhea and chlamydia, possibly HIV and syphilis, depending on the tests ordered. But it's highly unllikely that he was tested for herpes and impossible that he was tested for HPV.

Herpes and HPV are two of the three most common STD's. Both of them are incurable. Most people who carry them do not know they're infected. So you can trust him till the cows come home, he could even pass a lie detector test and still leave you with an STD.

The only person who can be responsible for your sexual health is you. When it comes to something like this, I'd rather be safe than sorry.