sperm-phobic
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sperm-phobic
| Sun, 06-27-2004 - 10:52pm |
Both my boyfriend and I have no intentions of having sex anytime soon, but we still enjoy fooling around. So far he has only fingered me, and I have only jacked him off (but we didn't take it to orgasm) and we both want to become more sexual with one another, but the thing is, i am INCREDIBLY paraniod about sperm for fear of getting pregnant.
So what I am wondering is what precautions do I need to take? Even though his penis isn't inside me, is there anyway his sperm could still get me pregnant? And finally, when he ejaculates, he'll of course get sperm on his clothing or on my sheets, and then after spending the night together in the same bed, how careful do I need to be?
Thanks for any feedback to help calm my fears!!!

First, if the two of you are going to be sexually intimate you both should be tested for all STIs and found clean before going any further. Even if there is no penile/vaginal penetration his fluids (even pre-ejaculate) on his fingers or yours and then touching yourself could pass on an infection. It’s a small chance but a real one none the less.
Second, if you aren’t on birth control pills you will be cycling naturally and be fertile and ovulate about mid cycle. During your fertile times if his fluids were to come in contact with fertile mucus on your labia there is a small chance that you could become pg. To avoid that possibility while playing with him you could wear a contraceptive sponge which would provide sufficient protection for that level of risk. Two brands of contraceptive sponges currently available are Protectaid and Today. If the sponges aren’t sold in pharmacies near you they can be purchased on the Internet.
However, from personal experience, sometimes one thing leads to another and before you realize what is happening you have gone much farther than you intended. I think if you are sleeping together at night intimacy will almost certainly go further than you mention intending to go. To protect yourself in that situation you should seriously consider an effective hormonal method of contraception to suppress ovulation. Let us know what you decide, ok?
Good luck.
Jill
I am also on the birth control patch already in order to regulate my cycle. So I already have some protection (although I want to make every attempt I can to be my safest).
But I do have another question. I am going to the gyno in a few weeks, so is what I have done with my boyfriend (just touching, no oral) considered "sexually active?" If so, will they automatically do additional tests for sti's? How do they test for STI's? And I am a college student still under my parent's insurance, so will the bill show that I have had any additional procedures done that will reveal my sexual status to them (cause the last thing i want is to make my now private sexual life public to them)?
Being on the patch, if you are using it correctly, you are quite safe. It is slightly less effective for women over 165 lbs or so, but if that doesn’t apply then you should have no concern about an accidental pregnancy. As far as the definition of ‘sexually active,’ goes, as I said, playing with his fluids can put you at some small risk if he was carrying a disease so to be sure they may want to test. By my definition you are sexually active even though you are technically a virgin. If it were me I’d want to be tested just for baseline readings if nothing else.
Samples for STI tests are collected in several ways, swabs for cell samples, urinalysis and blood. Here are 2 links that talk about STIs and the different tests for them in both men and women. http://www.fpahealth.org.au/sex-matters/faq/stis_20020624.html and http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/Handouts/sextransinf.html
As far as your doc telling your parents, well, what you talk about with you doc is confidential but I don’t know about how the billing is done in his or her office or if your parents questioned a charge, what they would be told. If I were you I’d ask your doc’s billing person how that’s handled… you are surely not the first to be in this situation. If there is no way around any billing problem at your doc’s and you still want to be tested you could go to your local Planned Parenthood clinic. See: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/Zip.htm You can find it by entering your zip in the search box. Let us know how you’re doing, ok?
Good luck,
Jill