just starting out- am i defective?!
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just starting out- am i defective?!
| Thu, 07-22-2004 - 9:45am |
Hi, my name is Melinda and I'm 18 years old and a virgin. I've been going with my boyfriend for about a year and we used to just make out- but recently we decided to try to branch out. Thing is, I've never really been interested in sex- like, physically interested- very much at all, pretty much my entire life. However, I started wanting more but then a strange thing happened. He tried rubbing my clitoris etc a couple of times and I was actually lubricating BUT I pretty much didn't feel ANYTHING, except for maybe the first couple of seconds. I've never masturbated because I just haven't ever wanted to so I didn't have any ideas but he had done it before with his previous girlfriend and was as perplexed as I was. Now I'm getting confused and paranoid as I think about how un-lustful I am... I'm wondering, am I a dud? Or does that just not work for some girls? The thing is, I hardly ever feel like I'm interested in exploring sexual sensations in general... it's weird cause I WISH I had more desire and could feel these things. And I might be paranoid, but I also am starting to think that my interest in the idea of sex in general has distinctly decreased in recent months. Another thing that's odd is that my periods are, and have always been really irregular and far apart, like every 2-4 months. Could that be related? Am I like a defective woman or something?
Mindi
Mindi
Edited 7/22/2004 9:56 am ET ET by mindibko
Edited 7/22/2004 10:01 am ET ET by mindibko

my periods are also very irregular too. i started taking the pill when i was 14 because i'd always get my periods every 2 - 4 months. even on the pill they were irregular. i've tried 5 different kinds. about a year ago i started taking cyclin and i'd get my period every 3 weeks and it would last for about 10 days. then 5 months ago i switched to demulin and haven't had a period since! i stopped taking all medications i was on a month ago. still no period.
it would make sense if the two were related. we could just have some sort of hormonal imbalance. that may be something you should talk to your doctor about. you're not "defective" or anything. some women just have lower sex drives than others.
most of the time i'm not interested in anything sexual. but i have a wild imagination and i'm always daydreaming. have you tried fantasizing? that could help. maybe read some erotic novels (not the super cheesy ones though). there was a pretty good one that a friend recommended to me. it's part of the "bride quest" series by Claire Delacroix. i think it was the first one in the series, called "the princess". it was really funny (especially near the end). it also wasn't too erotic. i'd like to read the other three in the series (the temptress, the heiress, and the countess).
well, i hope this helped a little. i know i feel better just knowing that i'm not alone.
Hi Mindi,
You mentioned irregular cycles in your post and we have several links that cover the topic of menstruation if you'd like to check them out.
Gynecological Information:
http://www.ivillage.com/topics/health/0,10707,166038,00.html
Menstruation topics:
http://www.ivillage.com/topics/health/0,10707,232769,00.html
M is for Menstruation:
http://www.ivillagehealth.com/conditions/reproductive/articles/0,,232769_249648,00.html
Irregular Periods:
http://www.ivillage.com/topics/health/0,,417290,00.html
Menstrual Disorders:
http://www.ivillagehealth.com/library/nwh/content/0,,215912_227202,00.html
Women's Health Overview:
http://www.ivillagehealth.com/library/nwh/content/0,,215912_409672,00.html
Gynecology Board:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhgynconcern
IVHealth Ruth Ann
Assistant Community Moderator/Health Librarian
rjohnson@mail.ivillage.com
IVHealth Ruth Ann
Community Leader/Ask the Health Librarian
Edited 7/23/2004 2:15 am ET ET by mindibko
i guess i have made a lot of progress so far, but i still have a long way to go.
if you'd like to talk about anything, or if you have any questions, you can e-mail me at zooidz@hotmail.com.