no sex drive in women

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
no sex drive in women
3
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 11:44pm
i am 20 and have no sex drive whatsoever! my boyfriend of 2 yrs is 32 and threatens to cheat on me if something dosen't spark. i dont know what to do and need advice. Does anyone else have these problems? let me know!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 8:17pm
Hey girl! I'm also 20, and while I'm no expert on sex, my experience might help you. Although there could be a hormonal imbalance which your gyno could help you with, I wonder your low sex drive is for a different reason. I had a really low sex drive with my ex. Now, with my new bf, things are totally diff. I think it is because of how he treates me. I think I'm really sensitive. Maybe you are the same way. Sex for me is more emotional than physical. I need to feel beautiful, sexy, and like the most special woman in the world. I would suggest that you tell to your bf about how to make you feel special. Also, make sure you do plenty of foreplay. It is an absolute must! Kissing, etc. shouldn't always have to result in sex. Sometimes it's nice just to mess around. With my ex I always felt like I was fending him off because he wanted sex all of the time. It was a major turn-off for me. My man now is older. He lets me initiate things when I want and isn't upset if I'm not in the mood. He says that men are always in the mood but women are different. Try not to worry about your sex drive. Relax, have fun, and do what you feel like. Worry about what you want for awhile, not just how to please your man. Maybe you need to explore your own sexuality and discover what you like. Also, tell your man to quit threatening to cheat on you! He's prolly saying it because it hurts his ego, but he's not helping the situation. He needs to make you feel special and give you control over your sex life for awhile, not make you more nervous. Sorry this got so long. I hope some of it helps. Good Luck! Let me know if any of this helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 5:46pm
hijackie,

Im 28 and im having the same problem. I use to be much more sexual then now. I don't know. I wanted to look into the pills for women . its like a vigra for women have you heard about them.

I to LOVE my boyfriend of 9 years, one thing i know its not that we have been toghethr that long because this just start about one years ago.

Question what do we do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 9:34pm
Hi zoey913, welcome!

This link has several articles on low libido

http://www.ivillage.com/topics/health/0,,234283,00.html Loss of libido can be caused by many things such as physical or psychological problems or because of medications you are taking.

I had the same problem at the age of 30. What I found was that oral contraceptives (OCs) were the reason my sex drive disappeared. Loss of libido for women on hormonal contraceptives is a very common side effect. After two years on OTC mine went AWOL! If you are on OCs you might want to consider a pill change. A different hormone mix might be all you need. What I decided to do was stop using hormonal contraceptives all together. I switched to cervical barriers which I love! I use a cervical cap between periods and a diaphragm for contraception and flow control during my period. Barriers are as effective as condoms if used correctly and I feel so confident when in my cap. However, cervical barriers aren’t for everyone as they do take discipline to use correctly. Another very effective option is an IUD. The ones available in the U.S. are ParaGard http://www.paragard.com/ the copper-T which is non-hormonal and effective for 10 years and Mirena http://www.mirena-us.com/ which continuously releases a tiny bit of progestin, and which is effective for 5 years. It might be a good idea to talk with your doctor about your loss of libido and see what s/he says. Let us lnow how you’re doing, ok?

Good luck,

      Jill