Low sex drive....at 21?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2003
Low sex drive....at 21?
5
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 9:57pm
hey i was just wondering what everyone in sex land thought of this. im 19, my boyfriend will be 21 soon. we have sex one night a week max. this is considering we only hang out 2-3 times a week, and some of those times are spent in the company of friends so we don't have a chance to have sex. now i find i have a higher sex drive than him. i would like us to be slightly more intimate. i mean if you add it up then we're only having sex like 4-6 times a month! i dunno it seems a little low. i know people settle into a pattern after a while. that things slow down, but we've only been having sex for about 5 months, and its always been this same amount from the beginning. so basically im wondering if thats a normal sex drive for a 21 year old guy? i know couples that go at it like 5 times a week. my bf says that he's content with how things are now, but i can't help but feeling that having that kind of sex drive is low. am i just imagining things!?

Kelli
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 12:42am
Hi kelli085, welcome!

It may be normal for him or perhaps not. Here are two links to information on male sexual dysfunction. See if any of the information seems to fit his situation. Male sexual dysfunction: http://www.ivillage.com/topics/health/0,,234376,00.html and Sexual Dysfunction: http://www.ivillagehealth.com/library/onemed/content/0,,241012_245704,00.html There are some people who just have a very low sex drive but perhaps there is a reason for his. If he will agree it might be a good idea for him to have a medical check-up to see if there is a physical reason for his low sex drive. Let us know how you and he are doing, ok?

Good luck,

      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 9:50am
Thanks Jill for the links. However, he's not on medication, depressed, or over the age of 65 hehe...when we are intimate things are great, there's no sexual dysfunction. maybe that's just him, he's interested in sex, but just content with only doing x amount of times a month. i was just under the impression that other sexually/physically healthy guys preferred to have sex more often.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 12:41pm
Many men have higher libidos. I hate to bring this up but are you certain that you are in an exclusive relationship?

      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:20am
Our relationship has been exclusive from a month after we started dating. That was almost a year ago. I have no reason in my mind to doubt his faithfulness to me. We've even talked casually on the subject of cheating and both feel its a waste, that people should just break up with their current bf/gf before seeing other people. And besides, he's been cheated on by an old gf which really hurt him, and thus, gives him another reason to dislike the idea of "cheating". I know he's young, only 21, but we have a very health committed relationship that I'm sure many people older than us don't even have. If we had a very active sex life and then it suddenly slowed down a lot, then yes, I would start to question his fidelity, health, and happiness in the relationship. But like I said before, his sex drive has always remained consistant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:26pm
I'm glad you're confident in that regard then! If he has always been easily satisfied then that is probably just the way he is.

Hugs,

      Jill