Vaginal tearing and painful swelling
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Vaginal tearing and painful swelling
| Tue, 11-02-2004 - 10:26am |
Hello,
I have a most embarrassing question pertaining to my subject at hand. First, I will make a long story short...As of late, sexual encounters have become painful. I wind up with a tear at the lower part of the vaginal opening (near the perineum) and painful swelling that is vaginal and perineal. And this swelling of the perineum is kind of like a skin fold that is raw to the touch. It has gotten painful to urinate and to sit for long periods of time.
I would like to know if anyone else has experienced such or similar problems and would have any advice to help me out. I have no problems going to see my OB/GYN doctor, I am just searching for some help.
Thanks for any help anyone can give me. :)

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My doctor didn't even mention herpes when she saw them. I didn't ask or anything, but she didn't even mention an STD though she knows I'm active. She's convinced that my new BCPs are causing abnormal amounts of discharge which is causing a sort of diaper rash, making my skin more fragile and easy to tear. This coincides with the fact that all my tears heal during my inactive pills. (something i hadnt noticed). I'm just waiting to switch pills to see if that works.
Hi all,
It looks like it's been a long time since the last post on this subject (in 2004, I think it said!). By now I hope that the other girls in the discussion are feeling lots better! I am new to ivillage and when I came across this thread, I couldn't believe that there were a couple of people who seemed to be going through a similar situation!
My fabulous husband and I have been married for 1.5 years. We both waited until we were married, and I was (unpleasantly!) surprised to find that I was tearing every time that we had sex (not exactly what I had envisioned about sex at the age of 26!). Anyway, I waited about a year before I said anything to my doctor. I kept waiting because I thought it might get better, and that maybe if I just relaxed more or tried harder (at the advice of my friends), it wouldn't happen. It's hard not to blame yourself/feel like a bad wife sometimes when you're having such a hard time (and your poor husband has to listen to you cry during and after sex)! Anyway, I finally saw my doctor and she confirmed that I was just tearing, over and over again in the same place the other poster had mentioned. However, she could find no real cause for it. She ruled out vaginismus because my muscles were having no trouble relaxing, etc.
After trying estrogen cream and yes, even physical therapy (talk about embarrassing--if i was modest at all before, not anymore after going through that!), she decided to do outpatient surgery in March 2005. I figured it couldn't get any worse, so I went for it. The procedure lasted about 45 minutes, and thankfully, I was under the whole time. It's been 5 months since the surgery (she removed all of the scar tissue that was tearing, about the size of a quarter). The recover was painful, but I was looking forward to the results! :)
Unfortunately, I just had my check-up last week and...still tearing. I knew that it wasn't feeling any better to me, but I think I was kind of in denial and was hoping that maybe she would say, "You're just not healed from surgery yet," or something like that. Sadly, I have "healed up nicely" but the problem remains. Like the other girls, lubrication is definitely not the issue (we should own stock in it by now!). :)
So she recommended three different options for me: more surgery to "make more room," physical therapy with different sized dilators, or waiting until I get pregnant (she thinks having a baby will help with everything due to the hormones, etc. not too mention the sheer size of the baby!). My husband and I have been working on getting pregnant anyway, so that's what we're opting for at this point--although it is hard to enjoy the process when it's so painful. Wish us luck--at this point, nearly anything having to do with sex basically instills fear inside of me--because I know exactly what it's going to feel like. Now I feel like I am just transferring my worry from "Will this ever stop hurting?" to "Will we ever get pregnant?" It feels like there will always be something going on in that area that will be a problem; at least, that's what I fear!
To be honest, I've never had an orgasm during sex, but that's the least of my concerns--I've just never had sex--not even once--that hasn't been excruciatingly painful the entire time. Waiting until we were married was what my husband and I both wanted--but sometimes I wonder why, if we thought we were doing the right thing and honoring God, is the payoff so bad for me? I know that's just me feeling sorry for myself, because there are a lot worse things that a person can go through. But it doesn't make the reality of the situation now feel any better. You know?
On the (very) positive side: I have such a great husband who just wants me to feel better, but I know it can't be easy for him. Although I try to be a "team player" and have sex a few times a week, because it's something that I want to be able to do for him (and despite the pain, at least it makes me feel like a "normal" person), he struggles with feelings of guilt because he can see how much it hurts, yet it still feels good to him. And of course, I don't want him to feel guilty at all--but sometimes I get frustrated because the experience is so vastly different for the two of us. It's a vicious cycle, and no one's fault--although on a bad day I definitely blame my body for its shortcomings! :(
Anyway, I apologize for the length of this post! I didn't intend to write a novel tonight, and I'm not sure that anyone will ever see it! I guess I just wanted to write on the off chance that there is someone else searching for any confirmation that they are not the only ones! I just know that for mr, feeling so alone in your struggles always feels so much worse.
Thanks for letting me vent. Even if no one ever sees this, it felt good to "talk" about it. :)
Take care, everyone!
Hi rileyvogt, welcome!
I’m sorry you are having such a difficult time. I think there could be a number of things other than Vaginismus than could be causing your problems.
Having lived with your condition for a while I imagine you have done quite a bit of research but if you haven’t already seen it a good source of information about Female Sexual Dysfunction is: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/femalesexualdysfunction.html with links to a number of articles on Vulvodynia and Dyspareunia. You might also want to post your message on the iVillage Vulvodynia Support message board http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-bhvulvodynia&nav=start . It’s a friendly group and there women with problems similar to yours share their experiences and what has worked for them and what hasn’t. I wish you and DH the best of luck TTCing. Thanks for posting. Please come back and let us know how you’re doing, ok?
Good luck and hugs,
Jill
Hi Jill,
Thank you for the information! I certainly didn't expect a reply so soon! :)
I greatly appreciate the links you sent me--I am always eager for more information and am really happy to have more places to visit to read more.
Thanks again! I think it helped tremendously just to write it all out. Plus, things always look a lot better at 8:00am than they do at 1:30am! :)
Have a great day, and thanks again!
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