painful sex need advice!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
painful sex need advice!!!
1
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 3:37pm
I have been having sex for a couple of months now, my hymen is broken but I still find it very painful, whats wrong with me?!! Its putting a mojor strain on my relationship, I've started pushing my boyfriend away because I fell so frustrated and upset!!! it feels like we tried everything. He can insert 2 fingers with no problem but anything more becomes painful. We've tried taking it slowly, I even bought a small dildo so we could go slow without him getting to excited, I've tried using it on my own, after a bath making sure I am compleatly relaxed with plenty of lubricant but same problem, the initial penetration always hurts never mind trying to move it in and out. Whats wrong with me? I am only 5ft and very petite, could my vagina be too small, is there something wrong with it? I am too scared to go to the docters! Can any one advise?? :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 6:42pm

Hi melissa-patrick, welcome!

Hon, if you are sexually active you need to have a pelvic exam to check that everything is as it should be. You already know that you are very uncomfortable during penetration the question is why. If you continue to have pain during penetration you will begin to associate pain with sex and that will just complicate your situation.

Is the pain coming from the area of your hymen? If that’s what’s happening you doctor can trim it up so that it doesn’t get in the way. If relaxing and using a lot of an intimate lubricant such as Astroglide or K-Y liquid isn’t working it could be that you have a condition such as Vaginismus. Vaginismus is an uncommon condition, occurring in less than 2% of women in the US.
Women with varying degrees of Vaginismus often develop anxiety regarding coitus and penetration, and intercourse is usually painful. For more about the condition, symptoms and treatment see http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001487.htm

Or it you might have Vulvodynia. For more about Vulvodynia see: http://familydoctor.org/367.xml You might also want to post to the Vulvodynia board http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhvulvodynia and describe your symptoms. The condition is not well understood and is often misdiagnosed by a large portion of the medical community.

Whatever the reason for your discomfort you need to see a medical professional and get a proper diagnosis. Let us know how you’re doing, ok?

Good luck and hugs,

      Jill