first gyn exam
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 01-12-2005 - 8:59pm |
My problem is actually pretty similar to what emeraldsrubies posted earlier.
I just turned 23, and yesterday I tried to go to the gynecologist for my first pelvic exam/pap smear. (It had taken me awhile to work up to it.) I've never had sex, and I've never used a tampon, so I was very nervous and the doctor was unable to complete the exam (she stopped because she said she didn't want to make my first exam a horrible experience, since I should be getting them every year).
She recommended using tampons to get me used to the idea of having something in my vagina. I'm open to this idea, but I don't really know what I'm doing. I've heard horror stories from my friends about when they first tried to use them. I'm scared, and terrified of the idea of sex (from hearing about how the first time can be so painful) even though I know I want to at some point, possibly in the near future.
The whole experience has been pretty embarassing and made me feel really immature. Does anyone have any suggestions?

It is perfectly normal to be nervous before a gyn exam, especially if no one has seen you down there since you were about 5! Also, congratulations on getting (or at least trying to get) an exam before having sex. I made the mistake of not getting an examination beforehand and am now having a lot of hassle solving problems that could have been prevented if I had been checked before.
Anyway, tampons are relatively easy to insert and aren't painful yet they feel very strange the first few times. It's suggested that the first time you use them, you wait for the second or third day of your period so that it slides in easier. You can also try inserting your finger, just make sure you wash it beforehand. Yes it's possible to break your hymen using a tampon or inserting a finger, but it's highly unlikely. (I think mine isn't broken yet and I've even had sex several times)
As for pain and sex, it varies for each girl. Many girls claimed that it hadn't hurt them at all. My own first time wasn't bad, just uncomfortable. Also, girls are supposed to have a really high tolerance for pain and for me, the intimicy of being with someone you care deeply about is enough to make the pain irrelevant (however this probably depends on you). (Speaking from experience here... I have some painful infection that has yet to be diagnosed)
Finally, please don't feel immature or embarassed. After hearing about all those 12-15 year olds sleeping around, it's great to see that not everyone is like that.
Edited 1/13/2005 12:05 am ET ET by arraicha
Hi tribaca13, welcome!
I'm glad you have a caring Gyn. Here’s a link to an article about what to expect during your first gynecological exam: Gynecological Exam: What Is It Like?
http://www.ivillagehealth.com/experts/womens/qas/0,,242103_896,00.html You have already experienced parts of it. The thing is to try and relax. Part of that will be in learning to use tampons and inserting your fingers (after washing your hands) or perhaps after a while even inserting a small dildo to get used to the experience of having something inside you. I agree with the other poster that you should be flowing well before you try inserting a tampon. The tampon package insert will give you instructions on insertion techniques. If you find you have problems at first you might want to use a bit of water base lubricating jelly, such as K-Y Jelly (not an oil base lube like Vaseline or an intimate lubricant like Astroglide or K-Y Liquid) on the tip to ease insertion. When you have your exam your Gyn can perform a simple procedure to minimize any problems you might have with your hymen.
I’m not sure I entirely agree with the other poster’s comments about high pain thresholds and caring making the pain irrelevant during first intercourse. If you have taken care of any potential issues (such as your hymen) ahead of time and take it slowly, working your way to arousal with a gentle and caring partner so that you become well lubricated before you attempt penetration then first intercourse can often be a pain free and a pleasant experience. There may be some initial discomfort but if it is painful then something is wrong and continuing with a prolonged painful situation will soon lead to equating sex with pain which is something you don’t want to do. But, you have plenty of time to work on that part. Concentrate on learning to relax your pelvic muscles, using tampons and getting used to having something in your vagina. Thanks for posting. Let us know how you’re doing, ok? If you have more questions, please ask.
Good luck,
Jill
I am so glad that you have a caring gyn.I remember my first exam, my dr. decided that it was best not to do the exam but to tell me about it and talk to me about sexual health and that way I would be ready for the next appt. After that, I was reassured and each visit since then has been much easier for me.
I just wanted to share that using a mirror to insert a tampon will help as well. This is how I learned. Also, getting to know your body will help as well.
I had always thought that first time sex would hurt as well. I had heard the stories and was nervous. I had been in a dating relationship that was off and on for five years and just last year had sex for the first time. It didn't hurt at all. But the key was waiting until I was ready to go through with it, being with the right person, etc. so I am glad that you are choosing to do the same.