How do iIask him if hes had an STD ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
How do iIask him if hes had an STD ?
1
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 11:35pm
Hi everyone.. How is everyone doing...
Well I got a important question... How do I ask my boyfriend about his sexual health history, for example, if he has ever had an STD or an STD check-up, how many sexual partners, last partner etc. I get very nervous everytime I try and ask him and I end up NOT asking him. Does anyone have any advice on how, when and where I should do this important question? Any ideas, it's very important for me to know.
thanks
-c
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 6:22am

Hi Carla, welcome!

That's a good question and, if you are already sexually active, I hope you are using condoms until you know that you are both disease free.

I'd choose a time when the two of you aren't rushed where you can sit and talk in a non-confrontational way and say that you need to talk about something that's important to you both. That you are looking forward to your relationship with him but think you should both be checked for STDs before things go further.

If I were you I’d want to see the results of his tests and be willing to show him yours before having genital contact without condoms. Asking about the date of his last sexual encounter is valid as it can take as much as 6 months for some STDs to show up in tests. Asking about the number of partners is moving onto a slippery slope if you are jealous in any way and might provide more information than you ever wanted.

I think I’d concentrate on getting both of you through a current series of tests and not worry too much about his history, unless that’s a big thing with you. That’s the way I’d do it. Let us know how it goes, ok?

Good luck,

      Jill