Sexual mental health

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Sexual mental health
1
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 11:58pm

My husband has always had a lower sex drive than me. And it has just gotten worse over the course of our 9 year marriage. He is 4 years younger than me and I would think he would want it a lot more. I can't remember the last time we had sex. :(

He always makes excuses-- too tired, too busy, too distracted, I have yelled too much that day, I yelled too much last week, I yelled too much last year, he's too full from breakfast/lunch/dinner, he doesnt want to be woken up inthe middle of the night/in the morning/etc.

He has pretty much shut me down from touching him. I dont remember the last time we had a really goood kiss either. I don't think he is having an affair-- he goes to work and comes home and the paycheck is the same. I have asked him if it is me. I think he might be gay but he won't admit it. Is this not pathetic?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 9:29am

Hi ghoddess_madalaine, welcome!

Hon, I’m sorry… Intimacy is so important in a marriage! Here’s an article on male sexual dysfunction: http://www.medem.com/medlb/article_detaillb.cfm?article_ID=ZZZ2NM3PJVD&sub_cat=57 and one on Sexual Health issues: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/sexualhealthissues.html#men

It would be a good idea for him to see his doctor, if he will, to see if there is anything physically wrong or if a medicine that he is on might be lowering his libido. If his doctor doesn’t find a cause then therapy for the two of you may be able to identify the cause and help resolve it. I hope the two of you can resolve his problem. Thanks for posting. Please come back and let us know how you’re doing.

Good luck and hugs,

      Jill