sperm paranoia

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
sperm paranoia
1
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:59am

Hi

This has been on my mind for a very long time, now! Just never found a good place to post it. Anyway, I know about all the possible modes of birth controll. I ended up being on the pill and I really liked that option, best. I haven't been on it for a while now, though. That's because I know I would have to get a pap smear, for another prescription. And yes, I know people always stress about the importance of pap smears. But well, right now I just know I am not willing to have one, no matter what the risks are!

Anyway, the point is - now I'm stuck with using condoms. I just felt a lot safer with the pill! Although I've had sex ed, I find people still don't teach as much as they should. I guess my question is more of a scientific one. Getting pregnant is a really big fear of mine! Every month I go insane, waiting for my periods, even when I know I've been very responsible. - That was back when I was on the pill. So being on condoms is just making it all a lot worse. Anyway, I know that mostly, even for couples, who WANT to get pregnant, it can take a long time for success. I'm just paranoid, though.. so I don't want to take any risks.

Once we've had sex and my bf has ejaculated, I'm too afraid for him to slip on a new condom and try again. I'm even too afraid for him to touch me down there, afterwards. I just worry, that somehow... when he takes off the used condom, some sperm might unknowingly end up on his hand. - Just a real tiny bit, he wouldn't be aware of. Or well, once he slips on the new condom, that some sperm might end up on the outside of it. I know that sperm tends to live for I think around two days! So I'm just really paranoid of unwanted sperm getting into me. Something tells me I'm just being paranoid, but I don't know enough of the science of things. Maybe just patting it off is enough? Maybe if there was an amount, it would be way too minuscule to let anything happen? Anyway, since I'd rather not get pregnant than take any risks, it's kind of having an affect on our sex lives. I don't just want to end things, after he ejaculates. - Especially, since he only lasts longer the second time. Anyway, please let me know what's safe. :)

Also, on a similar note... I am planning to spend some time with him in a jaccuzzi the next time I see him. How "safe" is it, if he ejaculates into the water? - Especially, if he were to use his hands on me, afterwards? I'm guessing again, the sperm wouldn't have a chance to travel, how it should. But again, I'd rather be safe than sorry. Also, would it be a bad idea in the first place, to let his hands inside me, in the water?! I've heard about UTI issues, before.

Ok, those were a lot of questions and a lot to read, but I'd really appreciate some answers. Thanks!

Btw... I'm just worried about getting pregnant, not about std's. He's been tested and he's fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 1:47pm

Hi saraswati81, welcome!

Hon, overall I think you would be a lot better off having the pap smear and getting back on hormones if they worked well for you. That way you will be protected continuously from pregnancy and will be protecting your sexual health by testing for cervical problems such as HPV which can cause infertility and cervical cancer but which is easily treatable if detected early. The peace of mind from knowing that you are sexually healthy and well protected from pregnancy should be much greater than any temporary unease about having a pap.

>>I know that sperm tends to live for I think around two days! So I'm just really paranoid of unwanted sperm getting into me.<<

Unless sperm are in fertile cervical fluid within the vagina they can live only a few hours. If they reach fertile cervical fluid they can travel into your uterus and tubes and live for up to five days. It only takes one of his swimmers to do the job so a smaller amount of semen may reduce the risk but it won’t eliminate it.

You could use a good vaginal spermicide cream or gel such as Gynol II and have your bf urinate and wash his penis and hands before putting on another condom which would reduce any possibility of an accident. Using a spermicide and condoms can be almost as effective as being on hormonal contraceptives. No form of contraception is 100% effective against pregnancy but if used correctly hormones or combined methods such as barriers (condoms, diaphragms and cervical caps) and a good spermicide can be very effective.

If you are interested in a spermicide I would stay away from vaginal contraceptive film (VCF) because it is more difficult to use correctly as it has to be positioned on the tip of the cervix and then given 15-20 minutes to melt. Also VCF, because of its small size, has a very high concentration (about 28%) of the active ingredient Nonoxynon-9 (N9) in it which is more likely to cause an allergic reaction in some women. A good spermicidal gel has 2% N9 in it. You might want to try a spermicide such as Conceptrol that comes in prefilled applicators as they are very convenient.

>>I am planning to spend some time with him in a jaccuzzi the next time I see him. How "safe" is it, if he ejaculates into the water? - Especially, if he were to use his hands on me, afterwards?<<

I don’t think anyone knows the exact answer but I think if you were fertile and with his ejaculate in the water there is a chance, probably a very small one, but still a chance that you could become pg. If you were using a vaginal spermicide then any risk from his sperm in the water or him fingering you would be nearly eliminated. When I am in the water with DF I always have a cervical barrier (a diaphragm or cervical cap) inserted to protect my upper reproductive tract because one thing can lead to another and condoms won’t work under water and there is a risk of his thrusts forcing water into my uterus which can cause an infection. So if I were you I wouldn’t be having intercourse in a Jacuzzi using only spermicide. One more thing, before you get into a Jacuzzi you should check to see that it has been properly inspected and maintained so you aren’t going to be affected by any problems previous users may have had.

UTIs can come from bacteria being forced into your urethra during intercourse. Urinating immediately after IC will flush your urethra and minimize the chances of getting a UTI.

Hon, if I were you I’d get the pap and hormonal contraceptives and minimize your continual stress about becoming pg. Let us know what you decide and how you’re doing, ok?

Good luck,

      Jill