First time jitters
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First time jitters
| Mon, 06-27-2005 - 11:10am |
I am getting married in 2 months....I am a virgin and have been told that when you have sex for the first time you bleed...I have also been told that you could have already broken your hymen if you use tampons...my question and concern is this: how do I know if my hymen has been broken...I just recently went to my GYN and i told her I was a virgin and she used the smallest tool they had...i barely felt a thing..she didn't say anything about my hymen at all...I really don't want to bleed on my wedding night...so Is there anything you can do to prevent it? Any help or advice would be much appreciated!
~Marie
~Marie

Hi Marie, welcome!
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
>>...my question and concern is this: how do I know if my hymen has been broken...I just recently went to my GYN and i told her I was a virgin and she used the smallest tool they had...i barely felt a thing..she didn't say anything about my hymen at all...I really don't want to bleed on my wedding night...so Is there anything you can do to prevent it? <<
A woman may or may not bleed or experience pain during her first penile-vaginal intercourse. Pain and bleeding can and sometimes do occur but that rarely happen if you have prepared for intercourse. Hymens can come in all sizes and thicknesses from entirely closing off the vaginal opening to being almost nonexistent and from being quite thick and tough to being tissue thin. Since you had a recent pelvic I would have to assume that if your Gyno knew about your wedding she would have said something if she thought your hymen would be a problem.
To see for yourself you could try a self exam with a mirror and bright light. First, lie on your bed with your legs spread and a lamp shining on you pelvic area. Then spread your labia with the fingers of one hand and examine the entrance to your vagina in the mirror and with your fingers to see if there is any part of your hymen that might pull or tear during penetration.
If you do think your hymen will be a problem you can try enlarging the opening yourself. First wash your hands and have an intimate lubricant handy like Astroglide, slippery Stuff or K-Y Liquid. Lube your finger and insert it into your vaginal opening and press gently against the part of the hymen you are concerned about. If that is comfortable try two then three (well lubed) fingers and see if there is any discomfort. If there is discomfort or you are tight you might want to perform this procedure a number of times to slowly enlarge the opening in your hymen.
A very good article on ‘the first time’ is: http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/fr_index.htm it is long but you should read it all and then go back and read it again because there is a lot of good information in it.
Once you are confident that your hymen isn’t going to be a problem you should be fine. Just remember that we take a lot more foreplay to become aroused than do guys so take things slowly and be very gentle with each other while you are learning about each others bodies and what turns you on. Dry is bad, so an artificial lubricant can be your best friend and don’t be afraid to use plenty of it. If you will be using condoms be sure to use a water base lube because an oil base lube will destroy latex barriers like condoms, diaphragms and cervical caps. Thanks for posting. If you have more questions please ask. Come back and let us know how you’re doing.
Good luck,
Jill