new to sex... questions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
new to sex... questions!
2
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 5:53pm
I'm 20 years old and a new non-virgin. Since I've been sexually active I have noticed a change in regular vaginal discharge, though it is not lumpy (as I have been warned to look for) and it is inconsistent. It is, however, thicker and a bit more frequent. Also, recently I've noticed some pain internally. Externally I can't feel a thing, but as soon as my boyfriend and I have sex I find I'm too sore to continue at a normal pace. (This has only been within the last week.) Could the soreness and the discharge be related? Regarding both, I've heard it could be anything from an infection, to a result of rough sex, to a result of being new to sex. Any thoughts on my concerns or any further concerns I should have? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 7:51pm

Hi there and welcome :)


There are several reasons that can cause pain upon intercourse, those varying from your being new to sex to vaginal spasms.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 9:35pm

Hi greeneyes246, Welcome!

I agree with Kimi… Since you have just become sexually active I hope you are using condoms (regardless of any other birth control you may be using) because condoms are the only method that will provide effective protection from most STDs. It is very important that you use condoms until you and your partner have been tested for STDs and know that you are both disease free. If you haven't recently had a pelvic exam and pap test you should have one soon to establish base line readings for comparison later on.

>>I'm 20 years old and a new non-virgin. Since I've been sexually active I have noticed a change in regular vaginal discharge, though it is not lumpy (as I have been warned to look for) and it is inconsistent. <<

Are you on any sort of hormonal birth control? The pill, patch, ring or shot can often have side effects that reduce natural lubrication as well as the consistency of your discharge and menstrual flow. Semen and spermicide mixed with normal vaginal discharge can also change the consistency of the discharge you see.

>> Also, recently I've noticed some pain internally. Externally I can't feel a thing, but as soon as my boyfriend and I have sex I find I'm too sore to continue at a normal pace. (This has only been within the last week.) Could the soreness and the discharge be related? <<

Women take a lot more foreplay to become aroused and wet than guys do. Vaginal tissue is very delicate and is easily damaged when not properly lubricated and if hormones are also making you dry then a good water based intimate lube (not oil based, oil will destroy latex condoms) like Astroglide, Slippery Stuff or K-Y Liquid would help to make penetration comfortable. My fave is Astroglide which I think is closer to my own natural lube.

Another possibility, if you are using spermicide, is that you might be allergic to something in the spermicide. If you are using spermicide you might want to try without it or use a different brand and see if that is any better.

You should give yourself 5 or 6 days for your chaffed areas to heal and then use plenty of lubricant even if your partner is wearing a condom.

>>I've heard it could be anything from an infection, to a result of rough sex, to a result of being new to sex. <<

Your discomfort could be the result of rough sex or being new to sex and not being well lubricated. I'll bet after you give yourself several days to heal and are well lubed next time things will be much better.

If you ever have a cottage cheesy discharge that could have a yeasty odor or vaginal itching or burning you might have a yeast infection. YIs are more common when on hormonal contraceptives and usually easily treated. For more about Yeast Infections see: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001511.htm. Urinary tract infections, UTIs, are also more common in sexually active women. UTIs can be minimized by staying well hydrated and urinating immediately before and again immediately after intercourse to flush out any bacteria forced into your urethra during sex. A good article on UTIs is: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000521.htm

Thanks for posting. If you have more questions, please ask. Let us know how you’re doing, ok?

Good luck,

      Jill