Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Help
3
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 10:34am
Lately my boyfriend and I have been trying different moves in bed, but a lot of them hurt me. It feels like it is going extremely deep, but my boyfriend says that sometimes it is barely going in. I don't know if it is the position or what, but more moves hurt than feel good and it is causing some tension in bed. It has been like this since I lost my virginity, but I have been able to take more and more slowly. Is something wrong with me?


Edited 11/30/2005 10:43 am ET by miketi11
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
In reply to: miketi11
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:17pm

Hi miketi11, welcome!

Have you had a recent pelvic exam and pap test to make sure everything is physically ok for penetrative intercourse? If you haven't then I think you should do that as soon as possible to ensure that everything seems in working order and because a set of baseline results is very useful for comparison with future exams later in your sexual life.

Women take a LOT more foreplay to become fully aroused than guys do so be sure that you take the time to prepare for penetration. When aroused the uterus and cervix withdraw up and back, out of the way of a thrusting penis and you should be well lubricated with your natural lube. So if you aren't fully aroused he may be bumping your cervix which can really hurt.

Or your uterus may be tipped (your doctor can easily tell during a pelvic) so that it is more likely to be bumped during intercourse.

Or, it may just be the size of you and your partner’s anatomies if you have a small vagina and he is very large. If that is the case and it hurts even when you are fully aroused you will need to work together to find the right position(s) so you aren’t injured.

You might want to try being penetrated from behind. I found I can be penetrated the deepest and most comfortably in that position and he is less likely to hit my cervix.

Another position to try is with you on top. That way you control the depth and direction of penetration which is a very empowering feeling, besides being able to avoid pain during intercourse.

It is very important, regardless of the positions you use, to be well lubricated. Arousal triggers our natural lube but if you are on hormonal contraceptives they can sometimes dry up a woman’s natural lube. If that's what's happening then you can use an water soluble intimate lube (oil based lubes will destroy latex barriers like condoms and diaphragms) like Astroglide, Slippery Stuff or K-Y Liquid and don’t be afraid to use plenty of it.

Thanks for posting. I hope this helps. If you have more questions, please ask. Let us know how you’re doing, ok?

Good luck,

      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
In reply to: miketi11
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 3:47pm
Thank you...I will keep you updated I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: miketi11
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 5:35pm

Can't add any more to Jill's answer as it was awesome!

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