My new husband views playboy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
My new husband views playboy
3
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 3:44pm
On 2 unintentional occasions, I have caught my new husband looking at naked women online. These women are mainly blondes and I happen to be a brunette, Asian to be exact. I am a bit concern because of 2 reasons. Number one is that we have only been married for less than a year. The number 2 reason is that I am certainly not a blonde. Could it be true that he does not find me attractive. Sure he is attracted to me enough to have married me, but I feel sad that I'm not his "dream girl" Please give me some word of confort in this. I realize that it is normal for men to enjoy naked women, but I feel that I have to compete with these large breasted blondes that my husband is fantasizing about. He may be ver active in the bedroom after viewing these pix, but I don't want him to use me when his thougts are on some one elses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 5:39pm

Hi littleme2006, welcome!

I'm sorry hon. I know that you are disappointed in your new DH. I read that guys are very visual in their sexual fantasies and looking at girls on the Internet could just be a part of that. That has certainly been my experience with my DF. I'm betting that it has nothing at all to do with your attractiveness. I can understand why you feel insecure but you may have nothing to worry about.

If you haven't already talked to him about what he is viewing and let him know that it bothers you I think it would be a good to do that. If the two of you can talk about your concerns calmly both understanding the other's position might resolve your fears. If he doesn't already know you saw him you should be very careful how you bring up the subject or he may get the idea that you are spying on him and be very defensive.

In my case I knew DF liked to watch girls before we became engaged and from watching some with him I have learned a lot more about what he likes and what turns him on which I’m using to our mutual advantage when we play.

I hope you and DH can talk through and resolve your concerns. Thanks for posting. We are right here if you have more questions. Please come back let us know how you're doing, ok?

Good Luck and Hugs,

      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 6:02pm

Hi Little :)


I completely understand your feelings of insecurities about this subject.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 6:02pm
If he is that into blonds, you might consider going blonde yourself or maybe adding blonde streaks to your hair or lighten your hair for him. Maybe that would help. I myself get excited over brunetts and especially oriental girls in general.
I dont think you should feel bad about him looking as long as thats all he is doing, maybe you should look with him. I look at nasty books, movies and on the internet I have my favorite web site that I enjoy looking at women as well as men to get excited. Dont worry.