too wet!?! HELP!
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| Mon, 01-09-2006 - 12:43pm |
My boyfriend of a month and I can't seem to get sex right. He has a really hard time ejaculating while inside of me. We have talked about it and I know that part of it is just getting the rhythm and used to being with each other. I suggested that he not masturbate and that has helped some. He thinks that maybe its that I get too wet. It's understandable since that takes away some of the friction. I have never had this problem before! His penis is also a bit shorter so it does make it difficult if I am too wet. I can't help but take it personally and feel like it's me! He insists that its just something that we'll resolve with time. I have finally found a great partner who I connect with and who also loves sex as much as I do so this situation is frustrating and I can't help but feel a bit sexually inadequate.
My question is, can it be that I am too wet?? How can I change this? Most of my female friends complain about vaginal dryness...seems I have the opposite problem. HELP PLEASE!!

Hi xochitl_flower, welcome!
It's really impossible for me to say for sure but I think your situation is probably be a matter of you and your partner's combined anatomies. If you had nothing of this sort with other partners then it seems likely to have more to do with your partner than yourself.
I think your suggestion that he not masturbate is a very good one and could help considerably. Is he very hard and fully erect when he penetrates you and does he stay that way while inside you? If not, you might want to find out what really turns him on and use his fantasies to keep him focused. If that doesn't seem to work you might suggest that he try one of the ED drugs like Viagra, Cialas or Levetra.
As far as you being too wet... Do you seem to be wetter that you were with other partners or than you recently have been? If so you might want to talk with your doctor as there is a condition where the cervix begins continuously producing large quantities of cervical fluid. I don't think that is what's going on but I want to make you aware of that possibility.
There are some possible ways of decreasing the amount of lube during intercourse but I think they are either problematic or unsatisfactory. One is to have him wear a condom which will contain any natural lube he is contributing. Condoms are a very good idea anyway until you both have been tested for STDs and are known to be free of them because condoms are the only method that will provide protection from most STDs. Another possibility is to go on hormonal contraceptives or if you are already on them you could try switching brands to try and dry you out a bit. However, there can be a very bad side effect of trying that because too strong a progestin or too little estrogen can cause your vulvar tissue to become dry and painful and you really don't want to go there.
There is one other possibility which won't have immediate results but over time (several months) is probably the best way to go under the circumstances. What I suggest is to try to tighten your vaginal muscles with Kegel exercises. That is not a reflection on you in any way but with a small partner increasing your muscle tone with Kegels can make a huge difference. A good article on Kegels is: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003975.htm
You might also want to discuss your situation with your doctor and see what s/he advises. I hope that some of this information will be of help to you. Thanks for posting. If you have more questions, please ask. Let us know what you decide and how you’re doing, ok?
Good luck,
Jill