He doesn't cum

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
He doesn't cum
6
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 8:44pm
My boyfriend and I have great sex, but it takes him a long time to orgasm... And sometimes he doesn't even get off! What could cause his unableness to cum?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 9:44pm

Hi baby1511, welcome!

He isn’t having a problem getting or maintaining an erection, just taking a while to or sometimes not ejaculating, is that it? If that’s the case, is he on any medicines? Medicines such as antidepressants can delay or sometimes prevent ejaculation for some guys and blood pressure meds can cause loss of libido for some as well.

If he is having erection problems it’s my understanding that even young guys can have occasion trouble sustaining an erection. If he is having frequent problems and it’s not a side effect of a medicine he is taking then performance anxiety could be a reason or, it might be the stress of school, home life, his job or him worrying about money. Or perhaps the side effect of a medical condition. Recreational drugs and alcohol can also have a detrimental effect on male sexual performance so if he is a consumer that might also be a possibility.

If the problem gets worse or is chronic it would be a good idea to have him see his doctor for a complete physical. Some good articles s on sexual problems are: Sexual Problems – Overview: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001951.htm
Inhibited sexual desire: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001952.htm
Erection Problems: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003164.htm

Thanks for posting. If you have more questions please ask. Let us know how the two of you are doing, ok?

Good luck,

      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2006
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 5:45pm

Jill pretty much said everything. The only thing I could add is this- Is he stressed out or worried about anything at the time? If he's able to get an erection and just has trouble maintaining it, it's also a possibility that he is preoccupied. I know of couples where the man is worried about something major. For example, let's say he's up for a big promotion. While he's anxious, waiting for the decision to be announced, it would be difficult for him to really focus on much of anything else. Then, say a few days goes by, the announcement is made and, regardless of the announcement, he can go back to focusing on his partner, because he's not stressing out about the promotion.

See where I'm going? The best thing YOU could do about it is to just be patient. If he IS stressed about something, the last thing he needs is to worry about being able to perform in the bedroom. That will practically ensure that he will not be able to. Tell him it's ok, that you'll figure something out, and pretty soon, things should work themselves out.

Good luck. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2006
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 1:06pm
hey, i can totally understand what you're going through.my boyfiend and i have sex very often but in the last month he hasn't cum once, and this isn't abnormal for him either.we've been together for six months now and he's never cum on a regular basis. he doesn't see it as a problem but i feel like i cant do my job as his sexual partner. so it's ok, things could be worse for you!! stick it out, maybe your guy will actually talk to you about it.
best of luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 3:59am

Hey guys, you dont know how relieved i am to know tht i am not the only one facing this problem.....My boyfriend and i have been together for one year and we started having sex 9 mnths ago, but the prob is tht he doesnt cum, he doesnt have a prob with getting an erection and 9 out of 10 times he's the horny one and he loves foreplay as much as the nxt guy....but all the times tht we have been together he has never ejaculated nor have an orgasm cos i assume the two are suppose to happen together, not even during oral sex and its affecting our relationship and its making me feel unable as a woman, i just dont know what could be wrong, but yesterday for the fist time we talked about it and he shocked me wen he told me tht he has never ejaculated during sexual intercourse with a woman but it does happen wen he masturbates....this thing is really affecting him but i just dont have a clue as to what it can be...he is not taking any drugs and although he has his ups and down like everyone else i cannot believe tht its the daily problems in life tht culd be the cause of this malfunction during a whole 9 mnths....i dont know wat it could be, but if you have any more answers pls share them with me cos im at my wits end...

Su

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 8:20pm

Su,


Really don't have any concrete thoughts for you, but, I was wondering if MAYBE something happened in his childhood, of the sexual nature, that he is repressing for some reason.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 9:57pm

Hi Su, welcome!


      Jill