taking too long

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
taking too long
3
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 7:45pm
Sometimes (more often than not) when my boyfriend and I have sex, I don't orgasm. He is a great lover but it seems that he has to put in a lot of effort into me in order for me to climax. 99 percent of the time he needs to do something else other than intercourse in order for me to orgasm. We have tried different positions and some work better than others, but again it is an effort. I feel bad for him sometimes because he works and goes to school so I know that with his full schedule he is tired most of the time.
Sometimes he gets upset, I guess because he sees it as him failing. I tried to explain to him that it is normal for women. But, I am starting not to believe that.
He is 25 and I am 34. He told me that all the girls he was with before me used to climax fast and all the time. Isn't this supposed to be my prime time and orgasm more often?
I am concerned that there may be something wrong with me.
Is there anything I can do to help myself be "faster"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
In reply to: nasia27
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 3:53pm

Hi nasia27, welcome!


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
In reply to: nasia27
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 5:06pm


Well as a woman who was married to a man for 20 years who consistently didn't care if I climaxed, and now married to someone who insists that I do... let me start by saying, IT'S NOT NORMAL FOR YOU NOT TO. Ya just gotta find your groove.

Not sure of your ages, but more foreplay, watching erotica together, perhaps oral sex first for you, or some assorted toys brought into the action can make a difference. DON'T be shy, ask for what you want, you deserve to enjoy the experience. Have you tried fantasizing during sex? This works for me the best, my dh and I consistently share erotica, pictures, films, books, etc...but sometimes if I take those images and sounds and relive them during, it can make a huge difference in the 'time and effort' it takes for my dh to get the deed done... and the deeds usually multiples.

We have a unique sex life (loooong story), but oral stimulation of any kind can be the true trick, remember a woman's g spot is reachable by touch, and when massaged correctly can be just as gratifying as penetration (esp. with young men not yet fully developed in size or skill)

And as long as your b'f is upset that he hasn't succeeded, that's a sign that he does care. Tired or not.. a man should and would feel a failure if he can't be the man his woman deserves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
In reply to: nasia27
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 10:14pm
theres this clit sensitizer u can buy at sex shops..it works oooooooooooooooo great!! hehe try it