Pain and sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2006
Pain and sex
4
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 6:19pm

I really need an answer to this if anyone can give me one. Here's the story...

I'm 18 years old and I have been dating this guy for over 8 months now. For a long time I would constantly get infections. I would get yeast infections, BV, and UTI's. I finally got rid of those and we are able to have sex now. But when we have sex, no matter how slow and gentle he is, it hurts. It hurts bad enough that I have to make him stop in the middle of it. We have tried just about every position too. Now I don't even want sex anymore, I'm actually starting to really not like it. This is really affecting mine and his relationship because we can have normal, healthy sex without him hurting me. We have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me and we have come up with two solutions. Either something has happened and made me very sensitive from having all the infections I had, or, it's my ex-boyfriend's fault.
I lost my virginity at 16. The guy I lost it to (my ex-boyfriend)would be really rough with me. If you have ever heard of "fisting" that's almost what he would do to me. He would only use four fingers, but he was really rough and he has big hands. When he would do it I never like it and I would tell him to stop because he was hurting me, but he wouldn't. He would do it a good bit and it wasn't just vaginally , but he usually only used three fingers in my anus. Me and my current boyfriend Have tried to have sex anally and that hurts too. I was wondering, could he have damaged me in some way from doing that? Or is it the infections that have just made me very sensitive? Do you think I will ever be able to have sex again and actually enjoy it? Please respond and let me know! I will really appreciate it.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
In reply to: jayjay0602
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 10:10pm

Hi jayjay0602, welcome!


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2006
In reply to: jayjay0602
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 10:43am

Thank you for your reply. I think I am going to go to my Gyn. and see what he thinks. I will bring all of these things up when I see him.

>>Have you had a recent pelvic exam and pap so that you know that everything seems to be ok for penetrative sex?<<

I'm not sure when my last pap smear was. I have been to the doctor so many time for infections, I don't remember when I went for what. I'm not sure I have ever had a pelvic exam. What do they do for one of those?

>>Are you on hormonal contraceptives? You mention nothing about being fully aroused and wet before penetration and some BCPs can really dry out some women. If that is the problem you could talk with your doctor about switching to a pill that has less progestin or more estrogen.<<

Yes, I am on the Ortho Evra patch. Most of the time before sex, I will be wet, but it usually never lasts.

>>Are you well lubed with your natural lube or do you use a good water base intimate lube like Astroglide or K-Y Liquid? (If your partner is using condoms be sure that any artificial lube is water based because oil based lubes like Vaseline or cooking oils will destroy latex barriers)You need to be very wet to prevent getting chaffed from friction. So if your natural lube isn’t doing the job don’t be shy about using plenty of an artificial one<<

Yes me and my b/f do use a lube sometimes.

>>Were you pain free with your current bf before your series of infections? It may be possible that your yeast, BV and UTIs have triggered a source of lingering pain or that your Ex fisting you caused you trauma that took time to develop. If your problem isn’t one that can be corrected by using plenty of intimate lube then I think you should explain your situation to a Gyn and see what s/he advises<<

I wasn't completely pain free, but it did get worse after I had the infections. If I was to go to the gyn. what could he do to determine the why I am having pains during sex?

Thanks for your reply!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
In reply to: jayjay0602
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 1:53pm

Hi again,


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
In reply to: jayjay0602
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:00pm
that sounds bad. I hope somebody out there have an answer to your problem. When I first got uti my mother inlaw told me to drink cranberry juice & I was taking ciprofloxin for 5 to 7 days. My husband & I did not have sex for those days at all. Pls be careful!