Please Help! I'm Absolutely Terrified!!
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| Wed, 08-09-2006 - 11:42am |
Hi everyone,
Ok, my story is a long one, but I'm going to try to shorten it for the sake of the board. Basically, I met a guy on match.com and after a few dates, he asked me to be exclusive with him. I agreed. I found out later on that he had a bunch of profiles on the net and that he was still actively talking to/emailing/god knows what else with other girls. I know for a fact that he was sending out emails to other girls right up until the end with me (thank god we only dated for 2 weeks before I found out his true colors). He even lied on his profile saying he was 34 (he was really 36), that he had never been married (he'd been divorced), and that he had no kids (he has 2 daughters, 11 and 13). Anyway, VERY long story short, this guy is a liar and a cheater. I told my friend dave about him and he knew about him just by the town he lived in and my description of his actions, and it turns out he did horrible things to my friend's ex also. He stole money from her, stole a credit card from her, and got her to go to swingers clubs with him (yes he's into swingers clubs, which is one of the things that worried me and has me writing here. He asked me to go also but I told him no, that's not my thing). Anyway, I'm probably leaving out a ton of details here, but basically I'm living in total and constant terror and fear because this guy coaxed me into trying anal sex with him and he didn’t use anything (I know I was wrong here too, believe me, please don’t beat me up over this…I'm doing a good enough job of that myself)… But let's just say he did this to me twice and didn't use anything and he also did not pull out if you know what I mean. Later on after I found out about him still talking to other girls and I stopped talking to him, I took off of work and went to the gynocologist the very next day (this happened Friday, I went Monday) and he examined me, and sent out tests for everything under the sun. I also found out something that has me terrified. My friend dave told me he did a google search on him and found him on a porn website that includes a lot of gay men. I was able to log in as him (he's stupid enough to have the same password for everything) and I saw that 2 gay men tried to be "friends" with him, but he blocked them. He was, however, part of a "group" called "men's chests only". I think this guy is most likely bi or something at the very least. Now I'm really really scared. The dr. said most of the tests would be back by the end of the week, but the HIV one would not be back for a few days after that and that it wouldn't be accurate anyway, that I would have to get re-tested in 3 months for an accurate result. I am absolutely a total mess. Ive been having nightmares and it's the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to bed, worrying about it all the time. I know worrying wont help, but I can't help it. I am so scared this guy gave me HIV. Someone told me it can only be transmitted if there was tearing?? Or if you had bleeding?? I didn't have any bleeding, and the dr examined me and said he didn't see any tearing or trauma to that area. What does this mean?? Does anyone have any insight??? I'm a total mess right now, I can't live like this for 3 months. And when I called the guy to ask if he'd been tested recently I he said yes and just the way he said it I didn't know if I believed him, so I asked again and he just said "look, if you don’t believe me, what can I tell you? Live every day like it's your last" - and he hung up on me. That was the last we ever spoke.

Hi jackia_83176, welcome!
Jill
Hey there :)