Not sure what to do Help

Avatar for itsgoodtobeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Not sure what to do Help
4
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 5:54pm
I spent too many years in a bad relationship to start. I've been single and raising two kids for the last 5 years and I've been busy. It was fine until about 6 months ago. I forgot a birthday and when I realized I was in fact 31 and not 30 I can't stop wanting to have sex. In order to avoid this I picked up a second job and got busier. It worked for a while but now I'm back to not being able to do anything but want to have sex and I can't seem to find anyone. I've grown acustom to my life with the kids and don't want anyone to move in and tell me how to live my life and what to do. I don't want the problems that all my girl friends have with their bf's all I want is someone to come over and have sex with me when my kids are at their dad's. I thought this concept would be a simple one but I can't seem to find that guy. I'm not sure that I want a bunch of one night stands but at this point I'll settle for anything. Am I nuts? Am I crazy? I found this guy who said he didn't want anything serious which is perfect but I think I drove him away. I'm not sure how I did that one. We went out okay not out but he made dinner and we had sex and then I went home and helped kids with homework and didn't talk to him till he called but then he went all nuts and told his friend that he was sure he didn't want a relationship and has been all weird since. I didn't mention a relationship or even call him. I let him call me and I just can't stand my life. I have not had sex more than 2 times in the last 4 years and I just can't seem to get busy enough to make this go away. What do I do? What can I do? Nothing is working and I'm just going nuts and just want someone. Anyone will do. Is it too much to try find a guy just to have sex with on the weekends? Does there have to be some kind of relationship involved? Why are all the guys I meet such girls. My needs are simple. Help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 9:49pm

Hi itsgoodtobeme, welcome!


      Jill

    

Avatar for itsgoodtobeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 6:09am
I know you are right. I think I'm just pissed off or sad with me it could be either. I can do everything else in the world for myself. I make my own money I pay my own bills I can work two jobs go to school and still manage to go on field trips and class parties for my kids. I can do it all. And I can do it all alone. I just want life to slow down a bit and my mom tells me I've never been happy without 14 things to do at once and I've always been like that. I'm a great multi tasker and I maybe what I need is focus. Maybe that is why I want sex so much it is not something I've ever tried to multi-task while doing. Then again maybe I just want to loose all the control if just for a bit. I control everything in my world and I have to manage everyone around me. That birth control thing might be worth a shot thou. My world would be perfect if I just lost the desire problem there is I smoke and I'm not sure they would give it to me. I am not quitting smoking. I love smoking and I can only hope it does kill me better sooner than later. Not in a I'm so depressed kind of way but more in a I'm tired kind of way and I can't sleep and nothing sounds better than eternal sleep. It is like my life is a trap and that is the only way out. I see death as peace and I long for peace and contentment. I want things to not always go wrong, although I'm great at crisis management and no matter what bad things happens to me I always seem to come out of it in the end better. I'm a well planned person and this desire was not something I planned and it is just getting in the way of my life. Maybe I just need to go back to school and take another math class. I hate math and have to put in 3 hours or more a day into it just to pass it. I just don't get it most of the time but feel happiness when I finally do. Thank you for your help and I know you are right I need an STD or another kid like a hole in the head. But why bother taking birth control if I'm not going to have sex. That is right it just might cure all of my problems. Thanks so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 4:02pm

Hi again itsgoodtobeme, welcome back!


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 12:14pm
I'm 32 and have the same problem the older I get the more I want it seems, which is a problem for my other half. All I can say why drive yourself bonker's and do without ignoring your needs. We all need some type of human affection from the opposite sex unfortunatly. But if you ask me sounds like you may need to visit a adult novely shop (several on-line that are discreet) and enjoy yourself when you want with out all the emotional baggage of a relationship. Nothing else it will spice up your relationships if you ever find time for one.